I am alive

I havent been a good blogger and honestly I completely suck at telling people my feelings.  I have been really struggling the past seven months.  Subbing was hard.  I have sucked at losing weigh. I have hated life and have thought about harming myself and I hate being single.  I feel like I have no friends and I just feel like the whole world hates me.  I never found a teaching job once again and I think honestly God hates me.  I hate myself and everything that my life means.  I dont know why I bother to do anything anymore.