This past week has been a huge blessing and hard place for me. I have gotten to hang out with friends, sense that the Lord is there for me, and then it has been so emotional. I miss daddy so very much. I hate that the holidays are coming up. I hate that my heart and mind want him here so very much to enjoy this holiday. My grandpa is very sick, and Im not sure how much longer I have with him. My heart is breaking that my only other father figure wont be here on earth very much longer. My friend from home-Tona, went into premature labor Sunday-22 weeks along. She had the baby Thursday morning, very early, and Hosanna Jael lived for 1 hr and 27 minutes. My heart continues to break for her.
I dont understand to this day why things happen to us. Why we have to suffer and go through hard issues in our lives as a Christ-follower. My heart is mourning for all of these things and its hard to remind myself that I have faith, I have Christ, I have a HEAVENLY father even though I dont have an earthly one. I am trying to take in the fact that I am a beautiful daughter of a King, even thought I dont feel like I am. My heart is telling me one thing and my mind is telling me another. I am not sure what to do with all of these emotions.