Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Totally not my day

I didnt get the babysitting job.
I almost got kicked out of my mom's house.
I didnt run today and then I ate salad and two little granola bars at lunch and hated myself afterwards.
I miss my daddy.
I feel so poor that I cant even buy groceries.
I have a migraine.

Needless to say I wanna cry and I at the moment dont really like God.

Hot Hot Hot

Ohio decided to stop pretending it is Seattle and now moved on to pretend it is Texas. Wow Ohio, lets just make up our minds here because I just want a happy-medium at this moment!

I so need to jump on the wagon and get my Cedar Point Pass. Bloggers, if you come to Cedar Point or Ohio I wanna meet you :) :)

Still no word on the babysitting job I interviewed with. Im so nervous and anxious about it.

Last night I about lost my head-not literally but I was like freaking out about life. Well my relationship life. I have never been on a date, or had a boyfriend. I have gone to 3 weddings in 3 weeks and so many friends are married or engaged or dating someone and I just sort of feel left out in this world. I hung out with some friends Sunday night. There were 4 couples, me and another single girl. I felt so left out in this world. I am glad that I have friends back home, but I def. want a boyfriend. Sorry for being a baby about dating and such. It is just so hard. I have people tell me it will happen when I least expect it, I need to keep an open heart and mind, and that I have to wait for God's timing. Well I have waited 23 years 5 months and 27 days. I just want to feel included in the world for once in my life. That is all.

I forgot to mention but----I got my diploma in the mail on Thursday! Yay yay yay! It is official I am a college graduate for REAL!

I may lay out in the sun for a little bit today. That sounds relaxing and lovely. All by myself. I need something fun to do.

I dont think Im going to run today. It is WAY TOO HOT for me to run and body is a tad sore. Maybe I will do a workout video today. I have been working out everyday now since May 6th. Whoa buddy!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Hurting Hips

The wedding on Saturday was beautiful and Im so excited to go to two more this summer. Ahhh!!

Its so beautiful outside today and Im excited to sit outside for a little bit, even if I do wish I had a pool to lay at.

I ran today but my hips were so sore. Am I getting old? Why do you think they hurt? Anything I can do to help them?

I am choosing on my own will to cut out sweets and junk food for a week, just to see if this will help me to lose a few pounds. Will someone keep me accountable?

OSU lost Jim Tressel. It is a sad day to be a Buckeye Fan, but hopefully they can do it this coming season.

Thank you to everyone who has fought and served for this country. Freedom isnt free.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Home, Interviews and running

Tuesday, Wednesday and today I havent been able to hear out of my left ear that well. I am not sure why. I think its because Ohio has became Seattle, its raining buckets like everyday and the pollen is trying to kill me. O hello allergies I quite hate you right now.

I went to bible study on Wednesday and we talked about our prayer lives. I have been struggling with praying and everything lately. I just feel so down about life-cant find a job, dont have a boyfriend, and I just feel lonely so much lately.

I went home yesterday for a babysitting interview. I am praying that I get it. I believe that it went well. I am really hoping that I get this. If I dont I am going to be so sad and hard on myself.

I didnt run yesterday but have been running alot this week. I went for a run today and my hips were so sore and it made my butt hurt. Sorry if that was too much information, but I am not sure why it did that.

I am really into Make It or Break It right now. I think its because I was a gymnast for 13 years and this show is about gymnastics and stuff.

I am hanging out with my friend Chelsea tonight. We are going to have spaghetti, garlic bread and fruit. I hope that this is good carbs to eat. I just feel so gross and nasty lately. I want to diet or not eat the rest of my life just to lose like 5 little pounds. I need to tone up my stomach. Any tips of what I can do?

Monday, May 23, 2011


I went to that pool party on Friday and I was the only girl who went into the pool. Its okay. I enjoyed swimming with the guys and it was fun to swim again.

I went to a Wedding on Saturday. It was beautiful to see two friends who love the Lord unite as one in him.

It has been beautiful the past few days. I went to the library on Monday and got some books. I am on the fourth one I checked out and its been a little hard to get into but so far Im starting to like it.

Ive been running/working out everyday since school ended and Im starting to feel better about myself and my energy. I feel leaner and less bloated. I want to find another race to do this summer.

I still havent found a job, but I have an interview on Thursday to babysit for a couple who has a 5 year old, a 3 year old and another one that is suppose to be born sometime this summer. I am praying that the Lord provides this job for me.

I wish I lived closer to bloggers that I read. I have lately felt really lonely and such. I feel like all I do is hang out all by myself and do nothing.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Bathing Suits

Okay so I still havent found a job yet. I still feel blah and to make matters worse I went to the movies with my friend Sarah and we saw Something Borrowed. LOVED it!! Anyway, while we were there I ate some candies, and now I just feel completely gross. I havent eaten anything bad for me since Saturday and I was really proud of myself and then I blew it :(

So tonight my friend and her brother are throwing a pool party. I have to wear a bathing suit. Let me just say this---I DONT WANNA wear one. I feel completely HUGE in it! RAWR!!! I mean it fits and stuff, but I just idk Im gonna be so self concisious of myself there. All the other girls going wear binikis and I wear a tankini. Im just going to be comparing myself and such there. I dont even want to eat dinner. I am trying SOO hard to lose some weight, and yet I feel like I'm getting NOWHERE :( I wish someone was here to give me a hug :(

Thursday, May 19, 2011


This is just to update you so you can pray for me:

I am sick. My nose is stuffy, my throat is kinda scratchy and I feel so miserable. I am just going to take a day of rest. No working out :( No nothing. Please pray for me to get my health back. I think after a whole semester of not getting sick and such it finally caught up with me.

Monday, May 16, 2011


So I babysat today--Can I just say that I get MOMS props for real!! I had to feed two children lunch, dress them, change one, drop one off to preschool,almost freaked out when the littlest one was trying to run ALL OVER THE PARKING LOT and I almost had a heartattack.While Kinsey was at preschool, Joel took a nap. We then had to pick her up and I became a jungle jim while we were waiting for dad to arrive home.

I get home from babysitting and I see some mail on my bed. One is something from Deilas. AHHH MY FAVORITE STORE EVER. And a magazine. I become quite confused because I havent had a magazine come to my house in years. Well then I look at it and it is PARENTING. Uhhh I dont have a child, not even pregnant and why in the world am I getting Parenting magazine sent to my mom's house?! God are you trying to tell me something because IDK if I like this? O my!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Purple bracelets

I went home Friday, back to lovely Cedar Point town, applied for some jobs ( so far no luck) then just kind of did nothing all day. I went to a wedding reception yesterday and then drove back to Toledo last night for a birthday party. I drove back home this morning and then went to church. Im so tired of not having a job. I had a SERIOUS fat day today and Im surprised I dont look like a whale. Totally wish I was thin and pretty like some of you guys who follow my blog but o well trying to become more positive about the way i look and its hard.

Im sick of rain. I thought I lived in Ohio, but Seattle?!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Need to VENT

This is a venting post and if noone reads it, then I dont care. No one reads my blog anyway, so what is the point?
I am SUCH a failure. I cant find a summer job. I have applied to 15 places and noone has called me or looked at my application and Im losing hope. I'm losing the desire to be here, to be alive. I am trying SOO hard to lose weight and yet I feel as big as a whale. My summer clothes barely fit me, so I need to eat less and work out more run more and more. I cant afford more shorts or capris. I try so hard to like myself and I cant. I hate the way I look and I cant seem to see myself the Lord made me to be. I HATE living alone. I hate that I graduated. I feel like I dont have any friends, any fellowship, anyone to plug into me and my life. I feel like a bum, all I do is sit in my apartment and watch tv shows on my laptop or on the series I have on DVD. I hate that my dad is dead. It KILLS me inside that I cant have a hug, cant call him, cant see him when I go home tomorrow. I hate that my mom isnt a Christian, I hate that my brother is at school has a girlfriend has a job has success and I have no boyfriend no job nothing.
This is a vent, I am just feeling depressed and lonely and just not worth anything that I am trying to get. I am a failure and I am really trying. Trying my hardest.Please dont worry about me.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Some photos from the weekend and before finals weekend as well!

One of my best friends, whom graduated with his bachelor of Science in Biology on Sunday too and is going to become a Doctor! Go Allen!!

We were at a bonfire at Allens the weekend before finals started and it was FREEZING out and we were up in MI and Allen LOVES Michigan and decided to give me his NASTY hoodie. Needless to say, Erin and I are Buckeye fans all the WAY!!

My cap my students signed.

This is my brother, Mike, who goes to Ohio State and drove 3 hours to watch me graduate :)

These are some of the girls that were in the education program with me..we survived and stuck with each other for 2 years!

I believe I am getting ready to go get my diploma from the stage!!

I am starting to get the hang out posting pictures on this blog! Go me :) Pray I find a job soon. I have been running everyday since Thursday and its starting to become a habit and a life stress reliever. I am becoming bored tho sitting in my apartment in Toledo with no friends no school and nothing to do.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I did it!

I'm waiting for my mom to post my graduation pictures online and then I will post them onto my blog so you can see me in my cap and gown :)

I visited my class this morning, and they all hugged me, made me cards, give me a class gift, and I took a picture with them, that I cant post because they are students and all. But I will say they are all CUTE :)

Commencement was 2 1/2 hours long, and boy did I wanted it to end when I was done walking across that stage. I cant believe I am a graduate, I mean I do have to wait 30-45 days until that diploma is mailed home, but I am still in awe I graduated. I still need to take Praxis 2(July 23rd baby) and then once I pass that I can apply for my teaching licensure. I am praying that I can pass it. I still CANT find a job--I am getting sad and depressed about it. I will do ANYTHING, babysit, clean, work wherever I can. RAWR! LORD, please give me a job soon or else I'm going to go INSANE.

Its beautiful outside(beware it is FREEZING out tho) I'm going to go run soon and then make a salad for lunch. I need something to entertain me soon or else I'm going to go CRAZY!


Saturday, May 7, 2011

O glorious sun!!

A. Age: 23
B. Bed size: Twin
C. Chore you hate: Vacuuming my apartment
D. Dogs: I’ve never had a dog, but maybe when I get married someday(such a desire in my life) I will have one
E. Essential start to your day: Listening to worship music and my quiet time. If I don’t do this I am seriously such a crank and my life usually is a disaster.
F. Favorite color: Blue
G. Gold or Silver: White Gold
H. Height: 5″ exactly. Yes I know I am a shorty
I. Instruments you play: I was in the choir in middle school and high school, does that count? I played hand bells Junior and Senior year of High school for our Bell Choir.
J. Job title: Lets see, I cant say student after May 8th(graduation) so a job seeker and I cant find one 
K. Kids: None, but I’ll take your kids from your hands and play with them 
L. Live: School time-Toledo. Im from Sandusky
M. Mom’s name: Susan
N. Nickname: My dad called me Morning Glory. I sometimes get Al, Allie G, Roo(gymnast nickname) but my real name is Alicia
O. Overnight hospital stays: None
P. Pet peeve: People who walk too slow, people who go UNDER the speed limit
Q. Quote from a movie: “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird" Notebook!
R. Righty or Lefty: Righty
S. Siblings: 1 younger sibling, a brother and he goes to THE Ohio State University
T. Time you wake up: during student teaching—5:30 AM. Saturdays whenever I want and Sundays at 7:45
U. Underwear: Sure. I wear them.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: LOVE them!!
W. What makes you run late: I’m never late to anything
X-rays you’ve had: teeth, knee, shoulder, neck
Yummy food you make: uhhhh I guess desserts!
Z. Favorite zoo animal: Lemurs!

I'm getting annoyed with job hunting..can I just PLEASE have one?! GRRRR!!! I cant believe I graduate tomorrow. I am going to a friend's house tonight and I'm excited to hang out with her before she moves to Cincinnati! Mom, grandma and Mike are coming up tonight! Anything fun I can do to change my workout plan? Diet plan? Schedule with running? Anything interesting you want to know about me????

Thursday, May 5, 2011


Yes you read that correctly---I am DONE with student teaching.classes.finals(ha who am I kidding I didnt have any!!) and on Sunday I will be a college graduate :) :)

I am going into my classroom for a few hours on Monday, and then going back in June for a field trip, but I am indeed DONE with everything!!! Yeah!!!!

I got a card, lemon bars, and flowers today from a few students. On Monday, I am going to take a class picture with them because uh they were AMAZING :) Plus I wanna remember them!!

I ran like 4-5 miles with 2 friends in this beautiful weather we have in Toledo. I am going to get Chipotle tonight and then go a funderraiser for a few friends who are going on mission trips this summer. I have eaten sweets every.day.this week and today I realized why. Aunt Flo decided to visit the weekend of commencement. Gee thanks Aunt Flo. Off to dry my hair and try to do something with it!


Monday, May 2, 2011

Its May already?!

I will post the recipe for the Lemon bars this weekend if someone would like it :)

I graduate in 6 days and I cant find a summer job :( Im freaking out and I even had a break down about it today :( LORD, PLEASE send one my way :(

I need to lose some more weight, any tips of what I can cut out of my diet(I dont drink pop, I on occasion eat desserts, I dont really eat breads/pastas/rice and yet I still feel as big as a whale) when school ends, I am back to running 6 days a week, running 2-3 days a week is KILLING me. BOO Sorry Im being so critical on myself, I just idk have a really bad self image and have such a low self esteem. Sometimes when I feel people look the way I want to look, it really kills me inside. UGH

I only have 3 more days of student teaching. I bought a new cd today--Christ August. IDK what else to say other than I observed a 6th grade class today and I LOVED it, so wish I was in middle education.