Saturday, December 31, 2011

Last of the year!

Last weekend I got my grandma for Christmas. I had a rough Christmas weekend. Was really missing my dad and just really hated the holiday! I got some really nice stuff for Christmas-Hunger Game series, money, few shirts, boots, two movies, a necklace, a CD, a board game(Quelf) and I think that is it!!

Monday I took my grandma back to her house, and then spent the rest of the day helping my friend wash walls in her and her husbands new house!! Tuesday, Wednesday and Thurs morning I was in Cincinnati visiting my friend Chelsea! We talked about her teaching job, boys, life, and just spent some really great time together. Thursday evening I went to my friends Marci's wedding! It was beautiful! Yesterday I drove to Fort Wayne and went to another wedding for my friends Sarah and David! I am SOO excited for their marriage and they are such a great and Godly couple!!!

So I have prayed about it and have decided to stop going on dates with Rich. He isn't a Christian and that is SUCH an important factor that needs to be in his life. I told him I still want to be friends though. Going over to my friends house tonight for a New Years Eve Party.

Well 2011, you definitely had your UPS and DOWNS.
Jan-Rang the New year in by worshipping the Lord!!
Started Student teaching

Feb-2 year mark of dad's death
Every Student Sent Conference with Cru
a whole week off of student teaching with snow days!
Sleep overs with Anna, Emily, Amanda

March-Donated 10 inches of my hair to Locks of Love!

April-Ran my first race--5k in 31:55

May-Graduated from The University of Toledo with a Bachelors in Education
Angel and Tony's Wedding
Heather and Andrew's Wedding

June-Eddie and Mindy got Married!!

Passed my PRAXIS!

August-Joined the staff for the youth group

September-Got my teaching licenses!!
Started subbing!

October-Brother turned 21
Saw college friends at a bonfire

November-Heidi and Brad's wedding
Youth Convention

December-First date
turned 24
Marci and Nate's Wedding
Sarah and David's Wedding

This year had some good moments, sad moments and some hard moments. I am praying that in 2012 I really grow MORE in my relationship with God. I really challenge my body, lose some weight, hopefully find a teaching job(fingers CROSSED) and who knows what could happen in the love life!

God bless to you and your families!! Praying you have a great 2012 and please be careful tonight! :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Stupid nose

Last Friday's date was fun. We ended up driving around looking at lights, got ice cream and just really talking a lot more than we did the last time.
Saturday I saw my friend Erin and we grabbed lunch. It was SOO good to see a friend from college and just catch up.
Sunday was the Christmas play(which went well btw) and then went to the TSO concert with my mom. It was really really good! Except I got a HUGE migraine the last 20 mins and wanted to chop my head off!
Monday I did NOTHING but babysitting in the evening. Tuesday I subbed. Yesterday I babysat. Today Im babysitting and then going to a Christmas party tonight for the youth group. O this shall be fun! My good friend Emily got engaged Tuesday!!
I cant breathe outta my nose...again. UGH seriously this sucks!
Tomorrow Im driving to Newark to get my grandma for Christmas and then taking her back on Monday.

I really dont care what I get for Christmas. I just want to cherish the Lord, embrace what He might do in my life the coming year and to reflect on Him. Well I'm off to do nothing. If you read my blog, I hope you have a great and beautiful Christmas. God bless

Friday, December 16, 2011

Clearing the air

Blog friends, don't worry, I didn't die. I have not been feeling well. I had the WORST cold EVER! It lased a WHOLE week. I think I kicked its butt though. So hopefully I will get back into the groove of commenting on blogs and updating mine as well :)

I subbed three days this week...babysat Sunday, Monday, last night and then this afternoon.

I went to a choir concert on Tuesday. It was alright. Wasn't the best that is for sure.

Hanging out with a friend tonight. Going bowling. Aka date number 2 with boy I went on date number 1 with.

Only have to shop for one more person for Christmas. Whoo!!!

I ran a mile in 9 minutes yesterday on the treadmill. Needless to say I about died and then walked the last mile I wanted to do. Can we say I had a HUGE stitch in my side?! UGH!

Have been feeling really lonely lately. I want a kid. I want a real job. I want friends to actually really care about me. I want to feel loved. I just want someone to really appreciate me for what I do. Maybe that is why I really dont update my blog alot. I feel like I am boring. Sorry, just trying to be real. That is all. At least I know that the Lord loves me. Have a good weekend!!

Tomorrow-play practice, lunch with a college friend
Sunday-Children's Christmas Program, TSO with mom

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Tis the season to be JOLLY

My birthday was quite boring! HAH I went to church, came home and watched Grey's Anatomy, went to dinner with a few friends, and then came home and baked brownies for an event I went to on Monday.

Monday I subbed, worked out, went to a Women's event at my church. It was a Christmas Tea. It was alot of fun. Tuesday I didnt sub. I went to a friends house. O funny story-So I went to the gym at 430 on Tues. to work out with my friend Elisa and Nickie. My friend Bibi was there too. Hilary came with me. We did a class called Cardio Pump. Holy COW! I am STILL sore from the class. We did some crazy curcuit and then we had to either walk the stairs or run them. Well dummy me decided to challenge myself and run up and down the stairs. So we had to run up and down the stairs for 5 minutes. Well I prolly lasted about 4 minutes and all of a sudden I totally felt like I was going to throw up. Next thing I knew my lunch from 1230 was meeting me once again. It was SOOOOO gross. I seriously havent thrown up from working out in YEARS. Like since junior high haha It def. was an experience I wont ever forget! haha

I subbed yesterday and it was SO rough. It made me question what the Lord has called me to do and I def. wanted to cry. Not subbing today and grabbing dinner with a friend tonight. I am so ready for a full time teaching job, more income and just everything to fall into place.

Sunday, December 4, 2011


Holy cow!!! I can't believe that 24 years ago, I was born. I was three weeks early. I lived in a fish bowl for 3 weeks and then came home on Christmas Day. What a present my parents got that year!!! I have had some crazy 23 years, but I am just grateful the Lord is letting me experience Him for another year!!

Soooo..........I went on my first ever date last night. It was good. He picked me up, gave me flowers( I will post pictures later), drove me to the zoo. We walked around, saw the lights. I saw a friend from school. We drove back. We had alot of very awkward silence there and back. I definitely felt very weird that I barely knew what to say or anything.

Off to explore the internet more, get ready go to church and of course who knows what might happen on my birthday!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Under a rock place

This week has been rough. I have only subbed on Tuesday. I was tutoring the sweetest kids on Mondays, but the dad texted me on Wednesday telling me he hired a nanny and won't need me anymore. I am heart broken. I really really needed that money. I feel like I'm in a pinch. I was just so frustrated with life yesterday that I was crying. Yes, like tears falling down my face crying. I am trying so so hard to make money, to save, to be responsible, but right now I feel like such a failure.

Im still trying to like running on the treadmill, but I HATE it. I LOATHE it. I want to cry every time I try to get past a mile and a half. I get BORED with it, even if I have music, and the tv to watch. BOO. Any advice?

Im still kind of nervous for my date tomorrow, but I am just trusting the Lord. I talked to my friend last night, and it really calmed me down. Gave me a peace. She prayed for me, and really helped me. I do want to go on a date with this boy, but Im just nervous. Ive never been on a date, so Im just nervous in general about this.

Speaking of God--he really is challenging me right now. I feel like I'm in such a trial and testing period right now. I have been doing pretty good in life lately, and just recently I am not getting many sub positions, got cut from one tutoring position, really struggling with nervousness and just all in general not really feeling his presence much in my life. If you are a Christian and you read my blog, I just ask that you pray for me. I really need some providence in my financial life right now and I really just want to be able to provide for myself. I feel like I suck at this whole money/work/singleness/living at home with mother

Monday, November 28, 2011

I think....

Im done with eat sweets, breads and any sorts of things that are yummy and NOT good for you.

I suck at this whole try to tone up and lose some weight.

Im nervous to go on a date on Saturday.

I really want a real teaching job soon because Im done with the whole subbing thing.

I really want to see friends from college or RedSoxWife ;)

Im really excited that in 6 days it is my 24th birthday :)

Friday, November 25, 2011

No Shopping for me

This week has been crazy!!! Monday and Tuesday I babysat a 4 yr old girl name Anna. Wednesday I went down to my grandmas with my mom. Before that she decided to go shopping. Needless to say I wanted to RIP MY HAIR OUT because I wasnt in one of my moods to shop haha. Yesterday I ate so much food Im surprised I woke up this morning haha.

I finally saw Breaking Dawn last night..and let me say this---I would NEVER let my sister-in-law cut me open to get the baby out!! If you havent watched it yet, sorry I just said that, but boy that is the TRUTH!!

Today I am going to a wedding for a high school friend and of course working out here. Just gotta wait for the gym to open!!

Sooo my body woke me up yesterday AND today at 540. SERIOUSLY?! Why can I NEVER sleep in anymore?! :( I dont have a kid so its not like any other human is wanting my attention haha

9 days till my birthday :)

Im hoping I get to see the LOVELY Ruth aka Redsoxwife soon :)

I am going on a date next Saturday.....first date EVER in my life. Wow I wanna throw up and I still have 8 days till it happens! haha

Monday, November 21, 2011

Awake my soul and sing

Things I'm thankful for:

a. braham Justice whom I got to meet and hold last night :)
b. rother whom I get to see on Thursday :)
c. offee
d. evos
e. xpressions
f. riendship
g. race
h. ugs from dads who love me like a daughter
i. nspiration
j. esus
k. ids
l. aughter
m. om and dad
n. aps
o. il changes
p. rayer
q. uilts
r. oots and all the little rugrats I teach Jesus to
s. unshine
t. v. (Biggest Loser, Parenthood, Last Man Standing, Up all Night, Grey's, Degrassi and other shows that will come back in Jan :))
u. niqueness
v. egetables
w. ater for washing away my feelings
x. marks the spot treasure hunts
y. ou
z. oo lights that I really wanna see

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Im a failure

I ate dessert pizza and a few cinnamon rolls at CiCi's pizza last night....Im such a failure. I dont want to admit this, but apparently I really really suck at trying to eat well. WHY cant I lose weight? I really need to stop eating carbs and sweets so that I can lose some weight.

Friday, November 18, 2011

His Mercy is New Each day

I am thankful for :

The Lord---He died on the cross for me. He washed away my sins. He made me whole again. He gives me new mercies and grace each day.

My friends--They give me love, laughter, grace, encouragement.

My family--They might not always agree with me, but they love me.

My health--That I am able to run, to work, to be able to do whatever I want.

A job--Yes some days I dont know what my schedule may be like, or what I'm getting myself into, but subbing is something.

My church family--They are there for me each moment--the good and the bad.





My car

I could go on, but those are some of the things I am so grateful for. I really am so thankful for everything that the Lord has placed into my life.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I am thankful

This past weekend I was a chaperon for a youth group trip. I def. want to just say that I am so excited that I got to go. Yes the girls in my room were handful, but its okay. I had three girls who were in my family and they all came to the Lord on Friday evening. I am so excited to think that I lead these girls to the Lord.

I failed on the sweets this last week. I ate some ice cream last Friday. This week I failed too. I ate a piece of cheesecake on Tues. I am JUST so ashamed of myself. I really want to just beat myself up.

This week I have subbed three times so far, and Im hoping that I get to sub tomorrow!! This weekend I am going to an Africa childrens concert tomorrow and then babysitting all day on Saturday!! WHoo!!!

O and I got a gym membership today!! Its for a year!! WHOO!!! i cant wait to go into a gym and workout!!! Yeah!!!

O and by the way I am really doing not too bad with my walk with the Lord. I can really tell that being back here in Sandusky is really the plan that the Lord has for me right now. I am glad now. I still hate living at home, but I am def. ready to move out.

O and Im having boy drama--like 3 different boys in my life. If you wanna know, leave me a comment and I'll let you know in an email.

I love you all lovely readers :)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

This girl...

Just ran ONE mile in 9ish minutes!! A cold, windy, hard to breath run but needless to say I cut 2 minutes off of my mile :) yay Im so proud of myself

I subbed three days this week. I babysat this morning, babysitting for an hour after my dentist appt. I baked today. I just feel SOO proud of myself!! I figured I would share my awesome news with you all :)

This weekend Im going to Cbus to help chaperon a youth group trip!!

O and yay my friend Tona had her baby yesterday :) On her hubbys birthday :) What a sweet birthday present :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Give me faith Lord

Wow that weekend FLEW by!! It was a fun but crazy one!! Friday I subbed for 5th grade and was called a unicorn!!! If you want the story, leave a comment and Ill let you know it! After school, I went over to my friends Amanda's house! We made dinner, baked brownies(yes I ate brownies with a Klondike bar so sue me!!) watched two movies, and played Disney Channel Scene it!! I needed that evening for real!!

Saturday-Christmas program practice, chilled in the church, grabbed lunch with a youth student, ran, and watched all three of the Twilight movies that evening!!

Yesterday-church, grabbed Mexican with a friend, relaxed, and then went over to a friends house for the evening after an hour of worship!! Love spending time with my Lord and Savior!!

Today I subbed for music. O my gosh it was insane!! The teacher didnt leave a lesson plan, so we basically watched movies all day. HAHA Im a good sub ;)

So on Friday I ate brownies and ice cream and then on Sat I ate some candy. SO basically since I have done my whole no eating sugar for 6 months, I have failed 3 time so far :( Someone PLEASE keep me in check for real!!

This week is hopefully full of date with a friend on on Thurs..and baking like a machine for this weekend! This weekend I am going to Cbus to help chaperone the youth groups trip for a convention. This will be interesting--girls in my room, no sleep, riding a van...hopefully I will have pictures to show of this weekend!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Why am I the one to have this life?

Sometimes my life isn't fair. Yes I have a great relationship with the Lord, but right now I just dont understand things right now.

1. Why did God take away my dad 2 years, 8 months and 1 day ago? I still dont understand why He did it. It is slowly getting easier without him, but right now I just want a daddy hug.
2. Why does my mom have to work two jobs and can barely make ends meet? Its not fair. I feel like life hates her. She cant seem to have anything go well for her. I just wish she could get a sweet legit job and not have to work so much and make all the money she needs.
3. Why cant our roof get fixed? She doesnt have the money to pay for it, and it isnt going to get covered :( I just wish that something good would go for her. Im tired of watching her struggle, things fall apart, her not get what she needs/wants. I cant help her and it is driving me insane. I want to help her so badly, but I cant.

I wish the Lord would bless me with a big girl teaching job. I need the money so badly right now. I do get so sub days(3 this week) and I have started tutoring a little girl, but I need more. IDK what to do. I just wanna move out, but cant afford it. I wish I had a normal family, but I dont. I see all of my friends with both of their parents, great lives, and my life just completely sucks.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Need some fresh new ideas

Hello friends :) Today was seriously such a great and beautiful fall day!!! Instead of just a half day from 12-4 today, I got to sub a half morning and then a half afternoon. It was so fun. Gifted intervention this morning, and then 5th grade math. O boy I was teaching arrays, multiplication, division, fact families. Good thing I know how to read, and know how to do most of this stuff already!!! At least it wasnt FRACTIONS!! I went for a run after school, but it SUCKED. I did about 3/4 of a mile, and then had to stop. I couldnt breath, I felt so dead. I now have my mom's Christmas present bought!! Just need to buy something for my grandma and brother.

Also, I wanna try some sweet new workouts/recipes/books this winter. I know that soon I will have noone to really hang out with once it gets crappy, and of course a ton of my friends here in Sandtown are married/two are pregnant, so I am soon gonna have nothing fun to do. Any new ideas to help me jazz up my life?!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Sick number one this season

Well I am sick. IDK really how to describe how I am sick. I think I have a fever and my throat hurts. Basically I am ignoring one of the school districts that is calling me to sub today. Its for an educational aide. I have never heard of it. Plus I would only make 10 bucks an hour. Uhh hello I would rather have the 90 bucks for the whole day(or 100) gee thanks. Please pray that I start to feel better soon. I do have a sub position for tomorrow-5th grade Math. Uhh yeah IDK what I got myself into. I def. am nervous about it though. Math is my worst subject! Havent worked out since Friday. O boy and I am barely eat much as well.

PRAY PRAY PRAY that I am healed quickly!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Hold me up Lord

I subbed four time this week!! Whoo!! PRAISE the Lord!!! I am SOO excited!! I hope I get called this week as well!!

In two weekends is the youth groups convention in Cbus. O boy, me watching out for girls in a hotel room and make sure they stay outta trouble. This shall be entertaining and Im sure I wont get a wink those evenings too!!

Havent been running much this week. Have been focusing on strength training!!

Friday I learned how to make Taco Salad!1 Its so yummy!! I went to CP that evening with a few friends and it was fun!! Last night I went to a hayride which was really fun but cold!!

Well I failed at trying not to eat sweets. I lasted a whole week, and ate a few cookies last night at the hayride :( Just want to beat myself up :( I feel like such a failure :(

Cant believe that Nov is here on Tues. Where in the world has this year gone?! Insane!!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Fall smells

Yesterday and today I have subbed!! I am def. so wiped out. Who knows what the rest of my week will look like. I have ran the past three days. I def. want to build up as much mileage as I can before we get snow here in lovely OHIO. I dont have a gym membership(I need to get one) and then maybe running this winter will happen.

I have been bored all evening, so I decided I would bake. I asked my mom via text if she likes muffins with cinnamon and she said I LOVE cinnamon!! I found this website and made these :),184,156179-244207,00.html

I will post pictures later this week :)

So I have a funny story--On Saturday evening I was texting my mom and this is how a conversation went:

Me-Can I get a fly shot this week?
Mom-You want to be immune from flies? yeah sure

Hahaha I still cant believe that I said this. I am such a weird person. It was pretty funny if you ask me.

Why are Christiam commercials already being played? It hasnt even been Halloween yet?!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Mommy for the weekend

This past week has been CRAZY for real-
Sunday-church and then went to a hang out evening with some friends
Wednesday-subbed and church
Friday-Went to someone special, Halloweekends at Cedar Point with a friend and then went to my youth pastors house to start my mommy weekend.

So a few weeks ago, the youth pastor and his wife asked me if I could watch their girls while they went on staff retreat in VA beach(I am so incredibly jealous fyi) I told them I could watch them over the weekends. Well Friday evening I got there, got the low down of the instructions and went to bed. Saturday-got up, got ready and made eggs :D then went to my house to get my play binder, got smoothies at Mickey D's(coffee for the adult ;) and then went to practice from 930-1. Came home, I ate lunch, then we played House, made Chocolate chip muffins for breakfast and then cleaned up and took a walk. We then came home, ate cereal for dinner, then I took them to get ice cream. We bathed, had a tea party and went to bed. Bed time was so insane. They wouldn't go to sleep, they kept getting up, talking, walking around and of course I kept waking up all throughout the night, and I am so exhausted today!!! BOO!! Its okay though. I am so grateful I have Tim, Meg, their two girls and their son in my life. They are like a second family to me for real. I love those kids so dearly!!! Today I am going to go for a run(fingers crossed) clean, possibly do a load of my clothes and maybe go over to a friends house to hang out after dinner. This week is full of working out(need to lose some MAJOR weight), subbing for sure at least once this week, youth group and a hayride on Saturday.

Starting yesterday I have given up sweets, chips, and all junk food until after April 22nd. I first off need to lose some weight, and I want to be healthier. I am also running a half marathon on that day, and I want to cut it out of my diet, so that I am not a slow poke zombie when it comes down to running in April. I will post every Saturday or Sunday about my eating and such. If I slip one day, please dont get mad at me. I know I am going to cry alot and be angry and upset at myself when I do so dont give me poo.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


This past week has been SO crazy!!!
Sunday-church/hung out with friends.
Monday-subbed for Kindergarten!!
Yesterday- I drove down to Cbus to meet/hangout/grab lunch with Ruth aka RedsoxWife. It was so fun!! This was my first time meeting a fellow blogger. It was great to talk about life, teaching, families, and get to meet each other!! I got to meet little D and omygoodness I so fell in love with him!! He is so adorable!! I def. want to meet up with Ruth again!!!

Today I am helping with the Children's Christmas Program, babysitting and who knows what else!!I know tomorrow I am going to church and then to a hayride!!! Whoo!!!

Okay, so I dont know if I have spoken a lot about my faith but I really want to talk about it today. I am a Christian, I follow the Lord. I have been saved by Jesus Christ and he has forgiven me of my sins. He has washed me clean/whole. I believe in the Bible, his truth and his Word. I have asked Jesus into my heart almost 7 years ago. Oct. 28th, 2004 is when I became 'born' again. I am so in love with my Father. He has gotten me through so much in my life-college, parents getting sick, losing my dad and my grandpa, getting into the Teaching Program, my mission trip in NJ, student teaching, leading bible studies, graduating college. I loving serving the Lord and helping kids/youth grow in their walks in the Lord. If you have any questions, you are more than welcomed to ask them or anything!! I am so in love with God, and I seriously dont know where I would be today if I didnt have him in my life!!

John 3:16-God so loved the World that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes shall not perish but have eternal life.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Healing in your hands

Today is beautiful. The sun is shining. I got to sleep past 5:30 today--till 815!! I got to play with kids for 2 WHOLE hours today. I got to hear Christmas music for 2 hours this morning* my fave :) * I can finally wear my contacts again after 3 weeks without them.

This week has been rough. I am PMSing. I have eaten so many sweets this week-Tues, Wed and last night. I barely ever eat sweets and I have been inhaling them like they are going to go out of style. I have been running, but its been hard. My legs feel so tired, so weak. I just feel so heavy, so fat when I run. I need a running buddy. Wish I could find one here in Ohio.

I really really miss my dad right now. I know that I am grateful that he isn't in pain from his cancer, but at the same time, I miss him. It is hard to see my friends with their dads, little girls with their dads. I just wish I could get a dad hug, dad advice, dad love. It really sucks.

I went to a funeral on Tuesday for a sweet little 10 month old baby girl name Madison. My friend Hannah sang this song called Healing in Your Hands. I know that one day, I will heal from this. I have God's love, his strength, his beauty and grace. I posted the words underneath. Just let them really go deep into your soul. Enjoy. Happy Sat!!

No mountain, no valley, no gain or loss we know
could keep us from Your love
No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough
to keep us from Your love
to keep us from Your love

How high, how wide
No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, How strong,
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood

How high, How wide
no matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, How strong
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

In all things, we know that.
We are more than conquerors.
You keep us by your love.
You keep us by your love.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Is anyone out there?

I feel like noone reads my blog anymore. Do I need to do something weekly-a triple tangent, a weekly recipe, a weekly workout recap, a giveaway..what do I need to do in order to attract people to comment, to read my blogs? I feel like lately I have been writing this just for myself. I know that I am real in my posts, but its hard for me to find the words to say things. I am not good at writing letters to people, or journal, or story telling/writing. I really am trying.

Subbing today for a 3rd grade teacher this afternoon. Im tired. Im cold. My fingers are so stiff.

Friday, September 30, 2011

I'll see you when I get to heaven

Madison Grace..You were so beautiful. I loved your little smile, you lit up a room when anyone walked in there with you. You were only 10 months old, but I knew the Lord would use you in mighty ways. My heart is heavy for your mommy, your daddy, your brothers Zach and Noah. My heart breaks for little Mackenzie, I'm sure it will be hard for her to lose her baby sister. Its hard for me to watch your aunts Hannah and Grace feel grieve,and especially to watch your uncle Eli who would have protected you until you got married. I pray for your family Madison, that they feel the Lord's comfort, that they cling to you in this time of loss. I pray that they feel your presence, that they can eventually realize that this is a time to trust you, that this was your plan for baby Madison. I am quite jealous that she is already in Heaven with you Heavenly Father, but I know that one day soon I will see her again.

Please pray for this family--Charity and Shawn at the parents. Naamam, Eli, Grace, Hannah, Jacob, Mark, Danielle, Delilah and her husband are going to miss her and so will her grandparents. Pray for comfort, love, peace in this difficult season. Thank you

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Rain rain go away!!

Have you ever felt like your body just feels completely EXHAUSTED?! Mine is like drained.
Sunday-Church, went dress shopping with a few girls, went to a friend's house.
Monday-RAN, half day of subbing in 3rd, then went to dinner with a friend.
Tuesday-full day of subbing in PE gym class, then did random workout things
Yesterday-half day in Special ed, ran, church
Today-took 3 kids to school, ran, going to have lunch with a friend, mting tonight.
Tomorrow-All I know is that I am baking cookies, working out, and seeing a homecoming parade!!
Saturday-christmas program 10-12, and going to grandmas!! Sunday I get to see my brother for his birthday!!!

I am TIRED from waking up at 530 all week. I hurt. My body is like DONE with running, but I need it to keep going. I need to keep running. I can do about 3 1/2 miles. UGH I seriously am like wanting to KILL Myself for signing up for a half in April. I feel like I cant do it. UGH

Fun things coming up in October:
4th-brother's 21st
15th-parents annvi.
16th-dad's birthday
21st-possibly going to cp with a group of friends
22nd-23rd-possibly going to cincy to see my best friends
28th-hayride/bonfire with friends in MI

Hopefully more subbing days(have had 4!) more running, baking(send me some FUN recipes I want to do more fun creative ideas!) and hopefully some dinner dates with some young ladies!!!

Anything fun you looking forward to in October?!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I want.....

Frozen Yogurt
a really nice run
a boyfriend
a steady income
a baby
pumpkin spice latte
Jesus to come
a friend to hang out with

cant a girl just once get something that she desires?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Llama Drama

Okay so this is gonna be a bullet point blog...just hang tight.
530AM-alarm goes off. turn on computer and type in my password with eyes shut.
537AM-pull up website i need to see if they need substitutes for the day.
0618AM-a position flew on the screen and i grabbed it. jr high. said title 2.
0655AM-out the door and driving to the school. school starts at 730.
710AM-pull in. walk into office. sign in.
get into the classroom and read the teacher's sub letter. Mouth flies OPEN. I am teaching 5 Social studies classes. 7th grade-2 of them. 8th grade- 3 of them. Read plan and figured well hey this will be a really easy day.
730-a teacher from the team comes in, introduces himself to me(he was there at the building when I was in jr high hahah) and tells me that my first period will be my hardest class for the day. I swallow and say okay.
745-bell rings and students start to come in. All of a sudden I have 6 behavior sheets being handed to me, wanting to be filled out. Get told I have to rate their behaviors/actions during class and then give it back to them at the end of class.
HR/1st Period-I wanted to CRY. Was called small fry, Hispanic. Boys wouldnt listen to me. Things were falling around the room. No one would really listen to my directions. I sent two boys to the office-one was throwing things, being disrespectful, and the other one was telling me off. I got mocked.
2nd period-PRAISE the LORD. Had a few chatty students, but they listened and were quiet when I told them.
3rd-They were angels. They listened and got their work out.
4th-team planning
5th-planning period. read my book I brought
6th-lunch. ate my lunch and then read.
7th period-Students start to come in. Was told they have AP(study hall till 1) I let them have it until 1255. They were getting really noisy and out of hand. I take attendance. Was told that a girl was in the hall and was always late. I go out the door, see her, and call her in. She comes in. She goes to the back of the room and sits at the table and not her desk. I tell her she needs to be in her desk. She said no. I said we all are sitting at our desks today. She argues with me. I tell her that she needs to do what I say. She tells me to F*** off. I about CRIED. I told her that we dont speak that like in this classroom and was told to go to the office. I take attendance. Every student is laughing while I am saying names. Uh hello it is NOT my fault your mother gave you THE hardest name EVER to pronounce. I didnt go to school to pronounce names. I went to be a teacher! Gave them their assignments. I seriously felt like every 4 minutes I was telling someone to be quiet, to turn around to do their work. Well this one student started to complain about the door being open. I turned off the fan because they were loud and told them they didnt get the fan because they werent be quiet. This girl started to whine and try to leave. I said sorry no. She then starts to complain about her cough, her throat. She then starts to spray nasal stuff in her nose. I told her they werent allowed to have medicine in school. Well then a student starts to yell at her for having it, and next thing I knoew she tells the boy to shut up. I said we dont say that in this classroom. She was bugged again, and then said shut up to the boy once again. I told her that it was rude to say that and to get back to her work. She then told me to shut up. I sent her to the office. 15 minutes later, class is over, they are sitting at their desks with no privilege to talk or do anything. Just to sit there.
8th period-they were a little chatty, but by the time it hit 230 I was done. I had a headache. My body hurt. I wanted to cry, sleep, scream, and just go home. Needless to say I had such a crazy day with junior highers. I seriously give mad props to people who teach/have taught junior high/high schoolers. I got annoyed with their little attitudes, their dumb little attitude noise, being rude, not listening. I just wanted to shake them!! I will probably sub at that school again, but next time Im bringing headache medicine, and a longer book to read. When they were doing their review questions, I read my book. I didnt want to be BORED. All I gotta say is that, the Lord seriously got me through that day. If I didnt pray throughout today, I probably would have flipped a lid during 7th period. O and I was told I was mean. Well Im glad. Someone has to lay the law down to you ladies and gents.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Well, I am guessing by my title you want to know why I am saying PRAISE THE LORD!! I want to praise him because he is SUCH my provider in this world. I feel like lately I have done a TON of grumbling, whining, crying, being pitiful and awful. Well my friends(do I have any out there?!) I am going to praise GOD because He seriously BLEW me out of the water this morning!!

First off, I have 8 friends pregnant: yes you read that right. Brittany due in later this month/October, Tona is due November, Julie R. one December, Ashley February, Christine in March, Becca is April, Whitney and Julie T. are due in May. HOLY CHICKENS! I feel like the world is repopulating!! I am SUPER excited for each one of them, especially since a few of the babies are MIRACLES from our heavenly Father, but at the same time, I am TRYING NOT to be sad about it. Yes I desire to be married, have a family, and be a mother one day, but right now it is VERY difficult for me NOT sad and be cry about this.

Okay, enough of trying to hide my emotions from you: I turned in my stuff to P-district today(hoping I get called ASAP). I called H and M districts today--they are waiting on one of my references to get back to them. Well come on lady lets get this ball ROLLING! I then was starting to feel anxious, so I went to the answering machine and listened to the machine, hoping I could find the Renhill number to call S-district. I called the number, told them I wanted to check my progress of my application, and the lady goes is this Alicia(yes that is my LEGAL name) and then tried to say my last name and butchered it. I said yes this is she. She then goes,"O well I just sent you your welcome packet." In my head Im thinking, I have to wait how many days for the mail? I said, in my email? She said yes. I check it and BAM! Im hired by them!! So now I have to keep clicking the refresh button in this website so that I can try to grab a sub job. I am seriously so giddy and excited! I want to celebrate! Wish I had some friends to celebrate with right now. O well. Maybe soon?

It goes to show me that my God has some BIG plans for me :D

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Just one of those days

This morning I woke up, cold to the bone. I was lazy when I woke up. Ate some granola. did some arms(going for a run later). straightened my hair. read/watched some tv. bank. gas. eye appointment. told the eye doctor about my left contact moving on me. Then was told I have some weird little dots on my eyes. Took out my contacts to get my eyes checked. tears come pouring out fest number one. went to pay and tears coming pouring out fest number two. have to wear my ugly ugly glasses for three weeks :( went to panera to ask my mom if i can go get the drops. tears come pouring out fest number three. go to kroger. lady told me it was take 20 minutes. look at magazines. realize i havent eaten lunch. go get my drops. was told it would take a few more minutes. tears come pouring out fest number four. a little old man asked me if there was anything he could do. said no. got said drops. walked to car and a dumb dog started barking at me and scared me half to death. got to car. tears coming pouring out fest number five. drive home. get mail. got PARENTING(idk where it is coming from but whatev) a car from a friend whose bridal shower i went to and then a letter. a letter saying that a school district wants me to be a SUBSTITUTE :D My little sad eyes arent crying any more. After having such a crazy afternoon, coming good came out of it. In my devotions this morning, I told God I wasn't going to worry about a job, that I am trusting Him, and look I got a letter saying they want me to sub this school year! Gotta turn in a form on Monday and then I will be good to go :) Yay I guess I just needed to Let go and let God handle my life. As for the eyes, gotta put some DUMB drops in my eyes four times a day, become a cloudy mess and wear my ugly glasses for 3 weeks. This may bother my running, since I dont like my glasses, have never RAN in my glasses, and I can barely see anything without them. Hmm May be work out videos for a while. Pray Pray pray that I hear from the two companies soon.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Trying to learn patience

I have been pushing this post off all week. I try to write, but lately it has been hard. This week has been so trying. A time of my life where all I want to do is jump in my car and go as far as I can. But I cant. I can't go anywhere. I turned in my stuff to a school district and to a company and now I'm just playing the waiting game. O this game SUCKS. I have probably cried every day of my life. I just want to hear from someone soon. Why does this season of my life have to be so hard. No one ever told me that post-college life would be this hard. No job, no friends, no boyfriend, barely any money, no community. It is stressful. I have been told to be patient, to wait, that God has a plan for me. And yet, it is so hard. It is hard to wait because I want something to happen NOW. I just feel so down on myself. I feel like I am a loser that I cant find a job. That I dont have a boyfriend. That I barely have any friends. I feel like my life is just poop and stupid right now. I really want something in my life to happen. To make me feel like it is worth all the effort I am putting out. I really dont know what else to say. My life is so boring. Sit at home, watch shows, read, and feel like a loser. Tues, Wed, and yesterday I stayed in ugly clothes all day. No point to put effort into my look when I dont have plans or anything to do. Can someone send me a hug, some love, encouragement, something?

Monday, September 12, 2011


This weekend was full of randomness. Friday night I spent the evening cleaning a basement with my mom. Needless to say we still have a LOT to tackle still and at the end of this project Ill know a TON about basements! Saturday I did nothing but wash a million towels and visited a friend and her little baby. Sunday I went to church, to the park, got ice cream(that I later felt guilty about) and then watched football with a bunch of friends.

Im still in shock that 10 years ago yesterday I was in 8th grade when I heard about the attacks and the airplanes and buildings I never knew about.

Good news blog friends------I got my teaching license on Saturday. My rockets may not have won, but at least I was way proud of them after that game. I turned in my stuff today at one school district this morning (its going to the board on Wed!) and then I faxed my license to a company so that I can wait once again for an email saying the next part of this long boring process. I am just so so sick and tired of doing nothing. Im sick of feeling like a loser. Im sick of not having friends or a life. I am sick of feeling like I am wasting my college degree on doing NOTHING with my life. Blah now I feel like I am going to cry my poor little eyes out. Wah. Can some blog friend please come be my real life friend and hang out with me, run with me and just be an encouragement to me.

Well I'm back to doing laundry, cleaning the basement and praying that I can somehow lose 15 pounds without really wanting to work out today? I have NO motivation at all today to do any physical exercise and I really need to. I feel like Im getting fatter by the minute.

Friday, September 9, 2011

It's time for....

It's back in my life:

Apple picking with friends...from Fall 10 :)

I LOVE fall :) I love that I get to wear jeans again and hoodies and shoes. I love leaves, pumpkins(anything with pumpkin in the food I WANT!!), football, apple picking, bonfires, hayrides. I am so incredibly exhausted today. I went to campus yesterday to get a transcript, and then I stayed for CRU. Saw so many friends and at the same time I felt like I didnt belong anymore there. It was kind of heartbreaking.

On a different note: I am still waiting for my license, so I barely have any money right now. It sucks. I am so scared. I am scared it wont come soon, and then Ill miss out on all these opportunities to sub and stuff. I really need the income like now. I gotta start paying back student loans in a few months(EEK). Pray for my heart. Its been really sad lately, just dealing with a lot of stuff and yeah. I have ran once this week since I have signed up for that half marathon. I am still kind of nervous about it, but I am not worried. I know God will help me get through this. I know I can do it. I want the dumb rainy weather in Ohio to go away. I am sick of rain, and how it keeps giving me headaches.

What do you enjoy about the fall season? Please share with me. I would love to hear from some blog friends on this entry!<3

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I feel like my heart is gonna burst outta my body

Sooo you know how I ran a 5k in April....well I am now signed up for a half marathon in April. I am seriously so nervous. IDK how to train for one?! Its like over 7 months away but its still kinda scary to me. I feel like I cant do it :( I dont have a Garmin, I dont know how to map out a path to run? Idk how to work or whatever that website is. I may cry. Ive never taken any weird GU or gels or anything. UGH I am kinda nervous now. Can someone please PLEASE give me advice or something?! I may start to cry. I do have over 7 months to train and whatnot. Although I dont have a gym pass(no job yet) and no treadmill here at moms house so IDK how I am gonna be running once winter comes..hopefully Ill have a gym pass soon. I would LOVE training schedules people have used or what not. Thank you so much friends!!!

Phone interview tomorrow to try to be a substitute in two more school districts this year. Pray for me. I really do feel like the Lord is taking this time in my life to mold me, to make me learn to trust him more and more. I do feel kinda scared but its okay. I know it will happen. One day soon I will have that great job, be able to move out, have a date, have a boyfriend, have a fiance, have a husband and a family. Until that happens though I am learning to love God more, to love myself more. To trust Him and have faith. If I dont I am gonna be a wreck and wont know how to be anyone else but myself.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Really need some encouragement right now...

Okay so this is such a rant, a vent a I-want-the-world-to hear what I have to say......
So I just came home from a run/walk like 25 minutes ago. Anyways, I was running my little heart out, jamming to some really awesome tunes(I couldnt even tell ya right now who I was listening to) and all of a sudden, I heard, over my blaring music of course, some dumbo in a car on the street yell go beached whale go. UH what?! I seriously almost cried. I was FIGHTING the tears back the WHOLE time. I wanted to sprint all the way home and just stuff my face(I didnt though) I am trying so incredibly hard to lose like 10-15 pounds, and yet some dumbo in this world had to totally ruin my self-esteem. I had actually been doing okay this week with how I looked. Now I am back to hating myself and wanting to just chop all of the fat off of me. Sometimes people just dont know what they just said can totally crush someone. Its not fair sometimes that my brother got the skinny genes. Its not fair that I still have awful acne like Im a 14 year old freshman in high school.

I babysat yesterday, today and then gotta do it tomorrow. Im praying the family pays me. I need the funds so badly. I am so incredibly scared that I am not going to find a good job someday. I am scared I wont get married, or move out of my moms house. I am scared Im gonna get sick and die like my dad did. I just wish I had a friend right now. I just feel so incredibly lonely right now. I am just so sick and tired of trying so hard at things, and then feeling like it never works out. feeling like a failure. feeling like i am not good enough. Please just pray for me, because right now I am not sure how much more I can take. I am not sure how much more of all of this i can take.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

6 years ago

6 years ago I started my first day of my last year of high school. I went to school, but my mind was else wear. I found out two of my best friends lost their sister. I also found out that the night before my mom was in a really seriously car accident(she was fine) Cassie was like a sister I never had. I looked up to her. I wanted to be like her. Cassie you were such a beautiful lady. I pray that one day when I get my own classroom, I will be a teacher just like you wanted to be. I pray that one day in heaven I will see you again.

The wedding I went to over the weekend was SO fun. I got to see friends I havent seen in a while and just enjoy being away from home. I barely got any sleep Saturday night and went to church at my friend's Anna and Allen's church where their dad is one of the pastors. I even got homemade food for lunch and it was so delicious :)

I have been running alot lately. I want to run another race. Like a 5k or something. I need to find one soon!! Okay, this may be super weird and I would NEVER imagine myself ever talking about this private issue in my life on my blog, but ever since I started to run more and more, I have noticed that I am lacking my menstrual cycle. I havent had it since June. Is that bad? I also know that I have been SUPER stressed this summer with not finding a job, moving back, PRAXIS, no teaching job, no boyfriend, not a life I thought I would have. I have been eating as healthy as I can this summer and I recently have stopped eating sweets. Pray that soon, very soon I get my menstrual period. I just wish that my life would become normal. HAH I barely know what normal is anymore.

I have another interview next Wednesday. It is with another company to sub in two more school districts. Once I get my licenses in the mail, I will have hopefully 3 school districts to sub in. The Lord has seriously blessed me in this area of my life.

Plans for this week:do more running, read books, help with youth group, bank, babysit on Thursday, possibly going to a football game on Thursday AND Friday evening, visiting my friend and her baby girl Friday morning. No plans for Labor day weekend. Mom and brother work the whole weekend. I believe some of my friends are going camping, but I doubt it I will get invited because I am single and dont have a husband. O well its okay. Hopefully I can find something to do to entertain me during the weekend.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I need to move out

Ever since I became unemployed again I feel like a bum. This week has been very crazy. Let's see.....Last friday I went to MI and heard my friends talk about their trip to Kenya. I was so jealous! I want to go there SOO badly!! Saturday I did nothing, just stayed at home, and then I went over to my youth pastors house and helped his wife get their kids ready for bed. Sunday I went to church, then the church picnic and then babysat that evening. Monday I did nothing. Tuesday I got my PRAXIS score and I PASSED :) Whoo!! I then had an interview and I rocked that thing! Once I get my teaching license mailed to me, got to get them a copy and then Ill get an email saying Im hired!! I then went on a walk/dinner date with my friend. Wednesday I went to Toledo to turn in my papers and then helped with youth group. Thursday I did nothing. Yesterday I helped my mom clean. I HATE cleaning. It was so boring. I wanted to rip my head off because I hated it. I just got home from a run. I have a wedding tonight and then Im actually staying in MI tonight and wont be back home till tomorrow sometime. Im so excited. I seriously NEED to move out. I HATE being back home. My mom works all the time. There is like no food in the house(its all sweets and I am DONE with sweets) I seriously feel so embarrassed to live in her house. I need to move out, make something MY home and stay there. I just need to get a job, get stable income and then move out. I hope to move out soon!! I cant stand to be here anymore. Pray that I get a job SOON so that I can move out and live by myself again

Friday, August 19, 2011

Dont worry...

I didnt fall off the planet!!!

Work it out:
Saturday: Ran
Sunday: nothing
Monday: 5 miles
Tuesday: 1 mile
Wednesday and Thursday: nothing
Today: 1 1/2 miles

Okay so my life this week has been crazy: I went to a bridal shower on Saturday. I went to church, a youth leaders meeting and then hung out with my friend Meg and her kids on Sunday. Monday I babysat for 4 hours, came home, relaxed, ran and went to bed. O and then watched my shows-Secret life of the American Teenager and Degrassi. yes I like to pretend I am 15. OOOO BTW I have an interview on Tuesday, as in on the 23rd at 1:30 PM to try to become a substitute in a school district in my hometown. Please pray for me. I really want to be a sub teacher this school year.
Tuesday I babysat, got home at 7, ran a mile(my legs were sore) and then showered, and watched Teen Mom.
Wednesday I babysat, drove to church, and then came home and went to bed. I was so busy on Wednesday that I didnt eat dinner :(
Okay so yesterday. I got up at 545(the mom wanted me at her house by 815) I drove all the way to Perrysburg, an hour and 10 minutes in my car. I got there and the mom came out said change of plans, asked me for her car seat the house key and gave me my check and told me to leave. I was so shocked/mad/confused. I got back into my car, called my mom and drove all the way back to Sandusky, another hour and 10 minutes. I went to the bank, and then came home. I was still mad. I then called my friend Meg and asked what her kids were doing. I hung out with her girls-had a dance party, got my hair done, got pretend makeover by her 3 yr old boy(it was toys), then went to lunch and the mall with her girls. We then took Kyrsten to the church, Kinsey and I went on an adventure, and then we hung out until 6 when we went to CP till 9. I helped get the kids ready and then helped Meg do some chores until 1130.
Today I ran relaxed read some and now Im doing nothing until 4 when I gotta drive to MI to go to a banquet for some friends. I am pumped about it!! This week I am doing NOTHING. I want plans though!! It is super weird that I am not going back to school this weekend. This is my first time in 18 years that I dont have school to look forward to. I love school and now I miss it.

Good luck to Redsoxwife on her half tomorrow :)

Also go over to Gourmet Runner's blog and enter her sweet giveaway. It involves chocolate :D

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A glass perspective

Work it out:
Thurs: nothing
Fri: 1 mile run, canoeing
Today: 1 mile run(uhh my body was SOO achy I wanted to cry)

Nannying this week wasnt too bad. Wednesday was an ok day. Church Wednesday night was so funny! The youth had a mudpit and did a tug-of-war. It was so gross but at the same time I had totally wished I had gotten to do it!
Thursday I went to dinner with my mom-Hello Panera and then hung out with her. It was fun. I am slowly starting to like being back home. Its still weird. I feel like I always have to tell her where I am going(she makes me) and I have some really weird rules, but its okay. Thursday evening while I was out with my mom, the dad of the family I nanny called me and said he was taking Friday off so I got a 3 day weekend! I was excited, but at the same time I dont get paid until Monday(boo)
I went canoeing with the youth group yesterday. I have NEVER gone canoeing. I went with a girl name Cora and then we had the youth pastors girls for like 15 minutes and then gave them back. Around mile 3(I am totally GUESSING there was NO marks to know the exact mile marks) we got Kyrsten back. At this point, all of the youth kids were SOAKED(the only boy that came him and his canoe partner decided to start FLIPPING canoes) well Cora, Kyrsten and I were doing fine. We then got stuck. Cora was sitting on the back of the canoe behind me and Kyrsten was helping me. Well we got stuck. I decided to go to the middle of the canoe to well try to even out some of the weight in it and I sort of jumped/fell out of the canoe. I could barely stand, and started to move the canoe out of the spot we were stuck it. Pastor Tim and Meg stopped and then Cora got out to help me. I told her to get back in. She did and then we had TROUBLE. Well I had two girls in the canoe and obviously I weight more than both of them combined and wasnt sure how to get back in. Tim told the girls to lean the opposite way of me and then I tried to get in. Well Kyrsten freaked out and I didnt get in. We tried it again, the canoe leaded towards me and I basically used my NONE Existence upper body to pull myself back in. It was quite an adventure. When I got back, one of my high school girls that really looks up to me texted me and asked if I had dinner plans. I didnt so I came home, showered got ready and picked her up. We drove a half an hour to get Red Robin. I was SO glad we did. We got to chat and just really catch up and stuff.
Today I went to a bridal shower and to the library. I check out some more Jodi Picoult books( I am HOOKED!) and I also got Kara Goucher's book since I have heard so MANY amazing things about it on other blogs!!! Im off to read more of the book, and head to bed. Church, youth leader meeting tomorrow, a run and an early bedtime tomorrow to start/finish out my last week of being a nanny to Lily and Jack.
Have a great Saturday!

I almost forgot: I got this book called Lady in Waiting yesterday. It is about waiting and being the One for Mr. Right. I am STOKED!! I also on Thursday, got this 'clicked' feeling when I woke up. I felt beautiful. I felt confidence and just felt like I was okay in my skin for once. I know that I may struggle on and off, but I really do feel okay with how God created me to be. I can see God's beauty in me and it is so exciting!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

But you love me anyway

Friday: week one of Cardio max, swimming
Saturday: swimming
Sunday: swimming, total body
Monday: 2 mile run with my brother
Today: did a workout thing from Cottercrunch :)

I'm really really trying to learn to be who God created me to be. I've really been struggling. I have surrendered it to the Lord. I have read countless books, I have read the verses that are about relationships, and beauty and everything else. I have journaled about it for IDK how many years. I am just so tired of not thinking I'm good enough. I'm tired of being single (3 friends got engaged today, and then 3 more are in relationships). I feel like I am carrying around so much weight, like bricks, and I cant handle it anymore. I wish I had friends here at home. I dont want people to feel pity for me, I just am trying to pour out my heart today. I am really working on knowing deep down in my heart that God really made me the way that I am. That the Lord really is enthralled by my beauty. That the Lord really has created a Godly guy for me, and that in HIS perfect timing I will find him. I just want to be the daughter the Lord has crafted me to be. I want to be a woman of the Lord, just not from the inside but the outside as well. I want to not worry about anything, and just to trust him. I want to have Childlike faith. I want to be real, to not hide behind a mask anymore.

I think I am going to order this book. Can anyone recommend any books for me to read about waiting till God's timing for a relationship, or about my beauty God has given me? I would really really appreciate it.

Also, can anyone suggest any really great Christian/non christian songs that are about beauty? I want to make myself a C.d. and listen to it until I have tears streaming down my face and I am shaking because the truth has finally 'clicked' inside of me.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Grace found me

Work it out:
Tues-3 miles
Wed-nothing(got sonic twice, kill me for all I care)
Today-3 miles

Having this week off from nannying is really making me feel so incredibly bored. I like to be home(no rent or bills) but I have no community here. I have no friends and such. Yesterday I hung out with the youth pastors kids. I took them to get Sonic, went to a bookstore and I got some sunglasses and such. My mom basically got on my case yesterday because I dont have a guy and she thinks I really need to find one.

I have been struggling a little lately with my walk with the Lord. I am still going to church and stuff, but it's been hard to getting into the Word and read. I know that I still have my faith, his love and grace but sometimes I feel like His plan isn't falling into my lap and stuff. I guess Im asking for people to pray for me. I would really love that!!

I really want my hair to be long. I want to be able to braid my hair and wear it really cute.

Im not going to be eating any sweets or junk for 30 days starting today. Can someone keep me accountable and/or want to do this with me? Ill try to post a bible verse everyday!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Is it seriously August already?

First off I cant believe it is August already. Insane to think that summer is almost gone!!

I dont have to nanny this week. The grandparents are taking them till today and the mom has the next three days off. Mini vaca for me!!

I tried to turn in my stuff to sub in a school district close to me but I need my sub license. Uhh I wish the world would have told me that before I tried to do all of this crap. Now Im sitting here in my room crying because I am frustrated, and yet I know tears wont get me anywhere. I am mailing out stuff to get my transcripts, and hopefully tomorrow I am going to get a TB test. Why does trying to be a sub so much work than it really needs to be? UGH

I havent worked out since lets see a week ago :( I am such a bad person :( I just want to die or chop my nasty flabby stomach off. Im sick of not being okay with how I look. Why bother if I feel like noone really likes me for who I am.

I may stop blogging. I feel like I am just plain boring on here. Im not really fun. Im not entertaining. I just dont want to feel like I am blogging for myself. I just dont know what else to do on here. Im sorry if Im boring, or always venting, but I just want to be real. I want my heart to be seen for who I truly am.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Never eating Chipotle ever again :(

Work it out:
Tues: 20-20-20
Thursday: Working out after nannying

I survived going to the zoo with Lily and Jack yesterday. We didnt have any fights, other than Jack mocking me around 2PM, but hey we lived.
Yes I ate Chipotle last night, and then about an hour afterwards I got sick :( I still feel really crappy. I have had a migraine since Tuesday and it wont go away :( I just wanna feel better. I am def. eating light today. I am going to the rec after work today. If I feel better by then. If not then Ill just come home and go to bed :(

Does anyone have tips on how to tone up problem areas(thighs, butts, stomachs) I just am so sick of not being happy. I am crying right now thinking about it. I didnt eat sweets for a year(started summer of 09 and ended it like June 10) and I cant seem to get myself off of them again :( I dont drink pop, really dont eat pasta or breads. My down fault of life is sweets :(

Please pray for me.

Next time I post, Im gonna share about my faith. Please leave questions about anything again :)

Monday, July 25, 2011

When your Faith seems to Fail

Work it out:
Sunday-30 minutes of elliptical and bike
Monday-look at Sunday

Yesterday I went to church in the morning. I placed my things in my usual pew and then went to the bathroom. I came back, and a bunch of high schoolers were in the row. Well during the first worship song, more came to the row and basically I was sitting in the middle of the aisle. I got kicked out of the row. I grabbed my bible, journal, and purse and was going to just head home. My friend Jordon's mom was sitting behind me and told me to sit with her. I started to cry. I had no motivation to sing worship songs or be in church. Lately I have been feeling really unwanted, unworthy and unloved. I'm not sure if its because I dont have much community at home, or because I dont feel like Im getting fed. Yes I read my bible, and journal, but I dont feel like I am getting poured into anymore. I hate living at home. My family isnt Christian, so I feel so trapped and not one of them. I HATE living at home with my mom and brother. It really sucks. The house reminds me so much of dad, and its so incredibly hard. I want to move out, but I cant afford it. Yes my faith in God is my own. I did learn how to be a Christ follower on my own, but sometimes its so hard when you dont have much encouragement, not much really going into you.

Q and A Time:

Are your sibling(s) younger or older than you?
I have a brother who is 20. He is about 3 years younger than me. His name is Michael, and he attends THE Ohio State University where he is majoring in Economics.

What's your favorite thing to do to relax?

My favorite thing to do to relax is read a book, or listen to Pandora Music

Do you have any pets?

We had a cat Muffy until I was 15, but I havent had one since. I do want one sometime soon though!

Post more Questions for me to answer :)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I did it

Well I think the Praxis today went well!! I felt really calm. One of the case studies I had, I have had it before, so I knew how to answer it :) I recognized about 10-15 of the multiple choice questions.

I havent been working out lately because it has been really hot outside. I dont want to pass out. I have passed out before from being overheated so I dont want that to happen again. I also have not had much motivation to work out. I just wish I had a workout buddy or something. Im not feeling it, I havent had time this week because of VBS, and I just dont have motivation.

So people I have noticed have been doing a Q and A on their blogs. I want to do it!! Leave me questions about anything-school, family, My relationship with the Lord, sports, things I did in high school, struggles I have, whatever you want. Email me or leave a comment.

This is Yours

I havent done any workout this week :( Hopefully tonight!

This week was so crazy. Tuesday-Friday I nannied and had VBS. Needless to say I barely had time to blog, workout or even eat. Im so glad that they fed the workers this week at VBS or else I was not going to be having dinner all week.

Taking my Praxis 2 today at 11. I am then moving some MORE stuff out of my apartment and then going to be a lazy bum at home. May organize some stuff and then do laundry. Whoo! Im a party animal! haha Im trusting that God has a HUGE plan for my life and that I WILL get a 166 today!!!

Slowing getting things ready so that I can try to sub this fall.

Perkins School District App-
Renhill for Sandusky/Huron-

Monday, July 18, 2011

Ho Hum!

Work it out:
Wed-two miles
Saturday-ran around with a 3 yr old for like 2 hours
Monday-Possibly doing yoga

Wednesday night I got to help lead worship at a bible study I went to. It was so much fun! I hope I get to lead worship again soon!!
Thursday I had to nanny, and I basically studied for my Praxis like all day. The kids were playing with friends so yeah.
Friday went to Imagination Station, and we had to leave because the boy had a HUGE tantrum and I had to literally drag him out. I had all sorts of people staring at us while we were trying to leave. Needless to say I was so embarrassed.
Saturday, I went and saw Harry Potter with my mom and brother, hung out with two girls for a few hours(hello ice cream) and then ate dinner with their family.
Yesterday I went to church, then helped Meg(the Youth pastors wife) set up her room for Vacation Bible School. It starts today! Im so excited I am helping to lead worship this week. I cant wait to show these little children how to worship a living God!!
I was going to run this morning, but it waslike 83 at 750 this morning so I said UH no thanks!! I am KILLING for a good run though. I ate ice cream twice on Saturday(someone please bury me now). I am hoping to get some sun today!! I dont have to nanny today. Whoo!! I went to the bank and then to get my BCI/FBI done(so I can sub in the fall)

I ate only cereal yesterday. I was barely hungry all day and that is basically all that sounded good. I know I am such a loser. hah

It is suppose to be in the high 90s all week. I hope I can survive this weather. Def. NOT going to try to run if its hot, I cant afford to risk it.(I have been known to pass out in the hot heat(gymnastics))

Readers, please be safe in this heat this week! I dont want to hear any sad stories of someone passing out, or throwing up because they got overheated. Be safe!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I want more of you God

I think you should watch that video :)

The song is called Set on Fire. Listen to the words. and close your eyes. Let the words just melt your heart. I want this song to be my prayer!

123 this is the job for me..well at this moment in my life.

Work it out:
Sunday-Elliptical, running and biking.
Monday-4 mile run
Tuesday-Rest Day
Today-2 mile run

Well I really have to say that being a nanny has it's challenges. I am learning how to handle children in a small setting. I really dont know these children, so I dont know their likes or dislikes. I dont know their families or their backgrounds that well. Needless to say its different watching children I barely know. Lets just say that yesterday was just as much a challenge as it was on Monday. Today, I have the day off. Lily is sick, but I'll be back there tomorrow morning.

"God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better."
— Elisabeth Elliot

You know, I had to wait a long time for a job. His love and timing worked in which I got the job when it was him timing for the plan for my life. This might be a huge challenge at the moment, but its God's mercy and grace that will get me through these 6 weeks. Some day I will have a better job, a better income, and will have the tools and be equipped to handle children whose parents are going through a divorce.

In other news--I got invited to ANOTHER wedding yesterday. Its in August. I thought I was done with weddings for the summer. O well over it. It will be fun.

Today is the 18th week since I chopped my hair. I want it to grow faster than it is thats for sure. I miss french braids, side pony tails. Hair that can do more than go down and into a little nub of a ponytail.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Do you like giveaways?!

So I started nannying yesterday. I survived up until 330. The boy hit and kicked me. All because I wanted him to clean up his toys. Yeah lovely. Today is going to be a LOVELY day.

I ran last night. My legs were so tight and sore. IDK why, I stretch and stuff. RAWR!!


You should really check out Ruth's blog..and enter her giveaway. DO.IT.RIGHT.NOW!!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

License Plate Game

Yesterday I got up at 6Am, got ready and then headed off to Illinois to pick up my friend Terah. We then drove to Perioa, IL, went to Wendys and then met the others(Margo, Katy, Tyler, and Zach) at the hotel. We got ready and then drove the 10 minutes to the winery where Stacey and Tyler got married :)
It was SUPER hot outside and I almost passed out. It was a beautiful ceremony though!!! We went to the reception and just had a great time :)

We ate breakfast together, and then Terah and I took off to go back to Chicago so she can get home!! I got back to OH around 540. Now Im doing laundry, packing, and cleaning my room. I am going back to Toledo tomorrow for the week so that I can nanny in Perrysburg :)

Fun Tidbits of my road trip:
~I only had to get gas 3 times there and back. I am SO grateful my car is terrific on gas.
~I named my GPS....his name is Gregory. He got me there and took part of my lovely trip there and back.
~I ate so much garbage these past two days:Clif bars, graham crackers trail mix, Wendys(chicken nuggets and apple slices) Wedding dinner(cheese, vegges, salad with strawberries, chicken, mashed potatoes, a few sips of red and white wine(at a winery gotta try the wine), cake, and some candys) cinnamon roll, orange, yogurt and toast.
~I saw LOTS of country flat lands in the three states I traveled through.
~I totally missed the hour of 1 o clock today!!
~I decided to play the license plate game yesterday when I was traveling to Perioa with Terah. If I was truly playing this game I would have won!!!

License plates I saw:(This is NOT a lie!!)
21.New York
23.Rhode Island
24.West Virginia
25.New Jersey
28.North Carolina
29.South Carolina
Totally felt like I traveled the country in three states total!! Hah

Well I am off to cleaning my room some more, finishing laundry and reading blogs!!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Missing Sheets

I so need to complain/vent right now. So after I was at the rec center for 2 hours today(I was really wanting a good workout/I have nothing else better to do so why not) I head to the bank, and then came back here to shower/throw my bed sheets into the wash. I figured I would take home some clean sheets while moving out things. Well I threw everything into the dryer and when I went down to pick everything up from the basement, I noticed that my pile was feeling a little light. I got back into my nice cool apartment(the hallway feels like you are in a sauna or something its so hot and dry) I dropped everything on my bedroom floor and started to fold my pile. Well while I was shaking out the mattress sheet, I noticed the sheet was gone. Like I have no clue in the world where it went. I started to panic. Went back to the washer and dryer I used. Both empty. Retraced my steps. Nothing at all on the steps or floor. I checked my closet. Nothing. Someone in my apartment complex STOLE my bed sheet. WHAT IN THE WORLD?! Seriously?! I am so annoyed right now. I even called and complained. I got laughed at. FOR REAL?! Well that caused all of my frustrations to even filter to the top more, and the water works came pouring down my face. I have had so much bad stuff happen to me in this apartment all year living here, and this was like the last straw. UGH :( Can I please have a hug, chocolate, ice cream, a kid to play with, a back massage, or a really awesome surprise be given to me right now?

Well, I'm off to the store to get a few things for breakfast tomorrow(I ate at Panera this morning because all I have in my apartment for food is applesauce, garlic bread, frozen veggies, pb, and some noodles) Needless to say, I decided to go for yummy bagels and muffins for breakfast. I hope you all have a great weekend :) Im off to Illinois in the morning for a wedding, to see project friends and to just get away.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Tired, hungry, lonely, and green towels

Work it out:
Sunday-4 mile run
Tuesday-elliptical, bike, lifting
Wednesday-look at Tuesday please

Sunday I went to church, came home, ate lunch, then took the youth pastors kids to the park, came home, ate dinner, then relaxed, ran and went to bed.

Monday I chilled in my room all day long until 5 when I went to Cedar Point, played putt putt with 4 married couples, and saw the fireworks. O yeah I got to skype with my friend Alecia. She is in Berlin right now on a summer project-like what I did last summer, but she is out of the country.

Yesterday I ran to the library, drove to Toledo, ate lunch, went to the rec, showered, chilled and then went to my meeting for the nanny position. I am going there tomorrow to meet their current nanny, see their favorite places, and basically see if I really wanna do this. I DO :) So Monday until like the end of August I will have a nanny position. I am soo excited!

Today I drove back to Sandusky, babysat for 2 hrs, drove back to Toledo, changed, went to the rec and now I am just relaxing until I go to dinner tonight with my friend Emily!! So stinking excited to see her :)

This weekend I am going to Illinois for a wedding on Friday, and like 85% sure Im going to a grad party on Saturday. A lot of driving but its okay. Any plans for the weekend?

I have been journaling my eats this week and today I like seriously pigged out when I was babysitting, bc i dont have any food here in my apartment so i basically made sure I like ate like i was a starving kid in africa. oops Please dont mind my un capitalized words. I dont really have the energy to be a grammar nazi today.

If you still want any of the recipes from my last post, please let me know. I would LOVE to post them for ya!!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Stupid computer and internet

My computers internet button was OFF yesterday(no idea how that happened) but I fixed it. Last night I was super bored sitting at home all alone like I always happen to do and decided to type a blog on Word so that I can post it when my internet was working again. Enjoy!!

Work it out:
Wed-1 mile run
Wednesday I went to Cedar point with my friend Melissa for a few hours and then went to church. On Thursday, I drove down to Columbus and went to the water park at the zoo. I totally thought of you Miss Redsoxwife(Ruth) the whole time I was down there!! It was a blast to hang out with my friend Jen for the day and to not worry about anything. I drove down to my grandmas that evening and grabbed dinner with her. I hung out with my grandma all day yesterday and drove back home to Sandusky today. I am teaching Sunday school in the morning(Which went amazing, the 6 kids I had were seriously angels!!) and then going to probably send the day in the sun. Even though I got burnt on Thursday I still want to go outside. Hopefully I get in a run this coming week. I def. hate the fact I haven’t ran since Wednesday, but being busy is okay. I have been eating pretty well lately. Hopefully I can lose a few pounds. I have a job interview on Tuesday to be a nanny. Pray I get this job!!
Which recipe would you like next?
1. Chocolate Chip-banana bread
2. 2.Spunky Monkey Snack Mix
3. Peanut-butter and Banana waffle-wiches
4. Summer Citrus Fruit Salad
5. Light n Creamy Tropical Dessert
6. Cranberry swirl pumpkin cheesecake
Vote for which recipe you want and I will post it next time I blog 

Totally want to vent right now: I have been feeling VERY down on myself. Cant find a job. Cant lose a little bit of weight. Cant find the one the Lord has for me. Cant seem to have any friends want to hang out with me. All I want to do is be skinny, have a job, a boyfriend, some friends, and a baking party to give to the ones I love! Can I be given a break sometime?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I think I did too much

Work it out:
Sunday-5 miles
Monday-4 hours of mulching. I am SOO counting this as my workout for yesterday. I am SORE from it!
Today: swimming and 4 mile run. I have to say though, I did it ice cream TWICE today. And I totally feel sick and as big as a whale :( I so wanna cry or make myself 20 pounds lighter :(

I got FREE dinner last night because I helped my youth pastor and his wife mulch. I have NEVER done it before, but I am now say that I am not a rookie anymore, so bloggers if you need a friend to help you mulch, send me to your house and I will do for you, as long as you go running with me, bake with me, and let me take pictures with you :)

Today I relaxed this morning, then went to Soak City for two hours with some cuties for a couple hours, got some Dairy Queen, then came back showered, ate dinner, ran 4 miles(I think I got the shower out of order but I was GROSS from swimming) then went to a bible study and I got ice cream :( I totally HATE myself, but tomorrow I will run in the morning and will be walking for 8 hours at Cedar Point so I guess it will even out. I am going to be indulging in TONS of fruits and yummy things that are good for me tomorrow. Today was just a bad bad day :(

Tomorrow is my mommas birthday so we are going to the point to celebrate and then I am going to church in the evening. Thursday I am going to Columbus to hang out with a college friend and then going to gmas house for a few days!

Monday, June 27, 2011

I think you should check this out:

I read a girls blog name Krista. She lives in the state of Michigan. I wont judge you Krista for being a Wolverine fan or anything!

She is have a SWEET giveaway on her blog this week. I think you should go check it out now :)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Broken Heart

I had my interview on Thursday-- and it must have sucked because I didnt get the job. :( Im over here in Ohio cryin my heart and eyes out. I seriously am not sure what I am going to do. I dont want to get kicked out of the house. I have tried so hard. Idk where else to look. I need a hug, a friend. encouragement. something. anything. because I feel like I may become depressed.

Poll for recipes:
1. chocolate chip yogurt cookies
2. carrot raisin bran cookies
3. pineapple brownies
Let me know which recipe to post.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Sweaty Mess

Work it out:
Thursday- 1.2 miles of running
Friday- 1 hour of elliptical and then some lifting.

I went to church on Wednesday night for a little crowning awards thing. Had two cupcakes and then went home. Drove home in the rainforest storm we were having outside, read and then went to bed.

Yesterday, I ran, showered, packed, library(twice in one week UHHH I guess Im addicted to reading???????!) then had my interview. I thin it went okay. I wont hear anything until after the 4th of July. Pray for me!! I then drove to Toledo, unpacked, packed up some things(to bring back with me) then went to IHOP with my friend Sarah and had a hot chocolate.

Today I ate oatmeal(YUM), went to my friend Alana's, watched Morning Glory, grabbed lunch, then went to the rec. I did the elliptical for an hour while reading a book and listening to music. I seriously LOVED it. When I get a job, I am so going to save up so I can get a pass to a gym. Im gonna miss having that sweet rec on campus after August :( I am suppose to hang out with my friend Erin tonight. We're suppose to go get pie(can we say homemade and the best ever) and then Ill probably die of a sugar coma. Ive been feeling sort of blah lately. IDK if its because Aunt Flo came to visit, Im sick of this gloomy weather, not sure of my future, or just in a funk but my stomach is SUPER messed up. I have heartburn after every meal. A lot of things dont seem to agree with me. IDK what to do :(

Have a question: Did you guys like it when I posted recipes? Would you like me to do that again?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Can I have a snooze button?

Work it out:
Monday- 1.5 miles
Tuesday-walked the kids I was babysitting to the park, and then RAN home with two girls on bikes, and pushing the toddler in his stroller, can I get a WHOA?!
Today-nothing :(

Monday I felt like a crazy woman...I chilled at home, then did all sorts of errands with my mom and brother.

Yesterday-ran errands, chilled, and then babysat from 1:45 PM till 3 AM. Can I please tell you HOW tired I am today. I played with dolls, watched Rugrats in Paris, pretended I was camping on the living room floor, made dinner, made smores(I ate two uhh YUM and idk how many graham crackers oops), walked to the park to stay for 10 minutes before one of the girls had to go to the bathroom, ran back home, watched some tv, got showers/baths/pjs on, watched some more tv, read some books by flashlights, made hot chocolate/bottles, tucked them into bed/kisses goodnight. 30 minutes later, the oldest girl(9) came down and said she couldnt sleep(there was a huge storm going on. Rocked the little guy (2), sang a song to the oldest, and then read/watched Marley and Me/played on the computer/Quiet time/feel asleep until the lovely parents came home at 245.

This morning-I went and tutored two girls. Question out there--if someone was tutoring a soon-to-be third grader and a soon-to-be kindergartner what would you charge? I do about 1 hr-1 1/2 once a week. What do you think I should charge this mom? She wants to pay me. I laid outside for an hour, filled out a bunch of paper work for my interview for tomorrow. I am so tired/too hot to run and I dont think Im working out again today. I didnt run yesterday, or today. I cant get out of this funk. I cant pay for a gym membership. I cant get access to the living room tv( My brother just stays in the living room and wont let anyone else use the tv) I dont have a dvd player in my bedroom so I cant do my workout videos. I just want to cry. Anyone want to adopt me?! Still need to shower, read my bible, get dressed/cleaned up, and then church tomorrow. I AM running tomorrow morning. Someone hold me to it.

Also, whenever I am relaxing/trying to sleep at night, I get heartburn. I dont eat past 6-630, I dont drink pop/alcohol/juice, I rarely eat bread, starches, sugar/sweets. Someone please help me out

Monday, June 20, 2011

No Witty Title

Work out:
Friday-Swimming, Relay for Life(my legs and hips were KILLING me the next day!)
Saturday: 3.5 miles
Sunday: took a walk, Wii Just Dance(My arms are so sore)

This weekend def. drained me. So many crazy activities and crying a lot and just being the weekend. I could use a vacation for sure.

I havent worked out yet today. I woke up at 7:50 and it was already hot outside :( Ill get my run in later, if not Ill do an abs video

Not really sure what to talk about--Father's day was hard for me like always. I cried a lot in church, cringed every time the pastor said the word dad, and kept looking around the church at all the dads out there that are sort of like a dad to me.

Been feeling left out lately. All of my friends back home are married, so they all hang out together. I dont have a job, so I have no money. Im not dating anyone so I cant really 'hang' out with that group of friends. My mom is never home and my brother never really is home other than to sleep/shower, so I am usually home alone in the house and it makes me really sad. A friend from school asked me if I was depressed, and honestly I dont know if I am. I just want a group of friends to include me for once. So wish I was going back to college in the fall.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Guess I cant keep this a secret anymore!

I have a job interview next Thursday at 330. Its for a teller job at a bank. It will be part time-like 20 hours a week, but hey its a start right?! Pray for me!!

I am going swimming today--taking the youth pastor's little girl with me to Soak City YEAH!!

I am gonna go for a run tonight :) YEAH!!

If only I meet the man of my dreams today, then this could be the BEST.DAY.EVER!!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Rainy days make me sad

Chunky Apple Muffins(got from Martha Stewart website)

A can't-resist breakfast treat combines autumn's flavors: cinnamon, toasted nuts, and tart Granny Smith apples.
Yield Makes 12


Vegetable cooking spray
1 medium Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored, and quartered
1 cup sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon plus 2 pinches salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup chopped walnuts, toasted (omit if serving to children under 3)
2 large eggs
1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray a 12-cup standard muffin tin with cooking spray; set aside. Cut 3 apple quarters into 1/4-inch dice; cut remaining apple quarter into 12 thin slices for garnish.

Whisk together sugar, flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a medium bowl. Add diced apple and walnuts, if using; toss to coat.Whisk together eggs, buttermilk, and butter in a small bowl. Gently fold buttermilk mixture into flour mixture until just combined; do not overmix. Divide batter among muffin cups, filling each about three-quarters full. Top each with an apple slice. Bake until muffins are brown around edges and spring back when touched, 16 to 18 minutes. Let muffins cool slightly, about 5 minutes, before turning out of tin onto a wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Cinnamon-Oat Pancakes(From Martha Stewart Website)

Rolled oats give these pancakes a hearty, nutty flavor. Serve them with butter and maple syrup or powdered sugar and bananas.

Prep Time 35 minutes Total Time 35 minutes Yield Makes 20


2 cups all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
2 cups milk
2 large eggs
1/4 cup vegetable oil, plus more for skillet

In a food processor, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and 1 cup oats and pulse a few times to coarsely grind oats. In a large bowl, whisk together milk, eggs, and oil. Add dry ingredients and 1 cup oats and whisk just until moistened.

Heat a large skillet (nonstick or cast-iron) or griddle over medium. Lightly oil skillet. Using 2 to 3 tablespoons for each pancake, drop batter in skillet and cook until a few bubbles have burst, 1 to 2 minutes. Flip pancakes and cook until browned on undersides, 1 to 2 minutes more. Repeat with more oil and batter.

I went running this morning--but it was a short one, like 1 1/2 miles. I just wanted feeling it, and my knees were really hurting me. I applied to Justice today online--its a little girls store. I am basically just trying ANYTHING. I woke up at 930 today. Forgot to eat breakfast, so all I have eaten today is my lunch. I am STARVING right now. Like my stomach is growling at me right now. Its raining. I am bored. I have NOTHING to do. I wanna bake, but we dont have an oven right now. I am tired, but I dont wanna sleep right now. Lord, please provide me a job--SOON. Enjoy these recipes. Bake for ME since I cant enjoy it at the moment.