Is it seriously August already?

First off I cant believe it is August already. Insane to think that summer is almost gone!!

I dont have to nanny this week. The grandparents are taking them till today and the mom has the next three days off. Mini vaca for me!!

I tried to turn in my stuff to sub in a school district close to me but I need my sub license. Uhh I wish the world would have told me that before I tried to do all of this crap. Now Im sitting here in my room crying because I am frustrated, and yet I know tears wont get me anywhere. I am mailing out stuff to get my transcripts, and hopefully tomorrow I am going to get a TB test. Why does trying to be a sub so much work than it really needs to be? UGH

I havent worked out since lets see a week ago :( I am such a bad person :( I just want to die or chop my nasty flabby stomach off. Im sick of not being okay with how I look. Why bother if I feel like noone really likes me for who I am.

I may stop blogging. I feel like I am just plain boring on here. Im not really fun. Im not entertaining. I just dont want to feel like I am blogging for myself. I just dont know what else to do on here. Im sorry if Im boring, or always venting, but I just want to be real. I want my heart to be seen for who I truly am.