Friday, September 16, 2011

Trying to learn patience

I have been pushing this post off all week. I try to write, but lately it has been hard. This week has been so trying. A time of my life where all I want to do is jump in my car and go as far as I can. But I cant. I can't go anywhere. I turned in my stuff to a school district and to a company and now I'm just playing the waiting game. O this game SUCKS. I have probably cried every day of my life. I just want to hear from someone soon. Why does this season of my life have to be so hard. No one ever told me that post-college life would be this hard. No job, no friends, no boyfriend, barely any money, no community. It is stressful. I have been told to be patient, to wait, that God has a plan for me. And yet, it is so hard. It is hard to wait because I want something to happen NOW. I just feel so down on myself. I feel like I am a loser that I cant find a job. That I dont have a boyfriend. That I barely have any friends. I feel like my life is just poop and stupid right now. I really want something in my life to happen. To make me feel like it is worth all the effort I am putting out. I really dont know what else to say. My life is so boring. Sit at home, watch shows, read, and feel like a loser. Tues, Wed, and yesterday I stayed in ugly clothes all day. No point to put effort into my look when I dont have plans or anything to do. Can someone send me a hug, some love, encouragement, something?

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