Friday, December 2, 2011

Under a rock place

This week has been rough. I have only subbed on Tuesday. I was tutoring the sweetest kids on Mondays, but the dad texted me on Wednesday telling me he hired a nanny and won't need me anymore. I am heart broken. I really really needed that money. I feel like I'm in a pinch. I was just so frustrated with life yesterday that I was crying. Yes, like tears falling down my face crying. I am trying so so hard to make money, to save, to be responsible, but right now I feel like such a failure.

Im still trying to like running on the treadmill, but I HATE it. I LOATHE it. I want to cry every time I try to get past a mile and a half. I get BORED with it, even if I have music, and the tv to watch. BOO. Any advice?

Im still kind of nervous for my date tomorrow, but I am just trusting the Lord. I talked to my friend last night, and it really calmed me down. Gave me a peace. She prayed for me, and really helped me. I do want to go on a date with this boy, but Im just nervous. Ive never been on a date, so Im just nervous in general about this.

Speaking of God--he really is challenging me right now. I feel like I'm in such a trial and testing period right now. I have been doing pretty good in life lately, and just recently I am not getting many sub positions, got cut from one tutoring position, really struggling with nervousness and just all in general not really feeling his presence much in my life. If you are a Christian and you read my blog, I just ask that you pray for me. I really need some providence in my financial life right now and I really just want to be able to provide for myself. I feel like I suck at this whole money/work/singleness/living at home with mother

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