Monday, July 25, 2011

When your Faith seems to Fail

Work it out:
Sunday-30 minutes of elliptical and bike
Monday-look at Sunday

Yesterday I went to church in the morning. I placed my things in my usual pew and then went to the bathroom. I came back, and a bunch of high schoolers were in the row. Well during the first worship song, more came to the row and basically I was sitting in the middle of the aisle. I got kicked out of the row. I grabbed my bible, journal, and purse and was going to just head home. My friend Jordon's mom was sitting behind me and told me to sit with her. I started to cry. I had no motivation to sing worship songs or be in church. Lately I have been feeling really unwanted, unworthy and unloved. I'm not sure if its because I dont have much community at home, or because I dont feel like Im getting fed. Yes I read my bible, and journal, but I dont feel like I am getting poured into anymore. I hate living at home. My family isnt Christian, so I feel so trapped and not one of them. I HATE living at home with my mom and brother. It really sucks. The house reminds me so much of dad, and its so incredibly hard. I want to move out, but I cant afford it. Yes my faith in God is my own. I did learn how to be a Christ follower on my own, but sometimes its so hard when you dont have much encouragement, not much really going into you.

Q and A Time:

Are your sibling(s) younger or older than you?
I have a brother who is 20. He is about 3 years younger than me. His name is Michael, and he attends THE Ohio State University where he is majoring in Economics.

What's your favorite thing to do to relax?

My favorite thing to do to relax is read a book, or listen to Pandora Music

Do you have any pets?

We had a cat Muffy until I was 15, but I havent had one since. I do want one sometime soon though!

Post more Questions for me to answer :)

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

I'm so sorry things are tough for you right now. :(

Hooray for Q&As!!