Monday, February 13, 2012

Do I really have to put a title on here?

I am not sure who reads my blog anymore. I honestly feel like I am just writing this for myself most of the time.

Lately I have been feeling really really lonely. I am home alone basically every evening. I cook dinner for myself every night. I feel like I have a roomie that is never home, and yet its my mom whom I live with and I dont pay rent. Even at church, which I have been going there since 2004, I feel lonely. Everyone that is my age is married and majority of them are now trying to pop out kiddos or have one. I really dont want pity from anyone. I just feel like I dont belong anywhere. I feel as if I am just floating in space. Yes I have ministries I help out with, but other than that I dont have a group I can be real with. I also feel really 'stuck' in my walk with the Lord. I just dont feel like I can connect with him. I feel like Im not good enough to have his love right now. I feel like I am falling through cracks. I wish that I had someone who really cared for me.

I ran 4 miles today....I subbed half day for a music to reading and more laundry

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