Lately I have been feeling like I have too much of the world on my shoulders. I am going heavy in the grieving process right now. My whole life feels like it is back to that day when I got that call. I have been isolating myself from the others because I feel like no one understands what is going on in my life. I feel so left out alot of times, but I talked to some of the girls last night and I am going to keep telling people about this and to have people walk in this issue with me. Pray that I can get through this. I am getting forced to go to church on Sunday and I am scared to death to go. I dont want to go because I know what they will talk about and I dont want to have a breakdown in a church that I have only been in twice since being here. I am starting to really feel the weight of my body issues. I am still desiring to be thin and to feel beautiful but I really am trying.
Work is cutting hours and I am hopefully going to keep qualifying in having 30-40 hrs a week at Burger King. Action Group tonight-I hope I can connect with the girls and not be such a hermit.