Thursday, April 8, 2010

I can see clear skies up ahead

I've been wanting to step out of my shell and do something I never would do. For example, I would never consider being a messy person, but right now I want to be. I want the mess in my life to surface and come alive in my everyday walk on earth. I am way too organized and I plan to get stuff done way in advance. I write down everything I have for that day out in my planner. I feel like I take life for granted sometimes. I never thank my friends enough. I never talk to my family enough. I never go for the risks in life enough. I always live life on the side of knowing if something goes wrong its all my fault. I know that life shouldn't be taken for granted. Life is precious and sometimes you wonder if that loved one you lost could have achieved more in life than they accomplished before their time on earth was cut. I wonder what things in life would be held back if my dad was alive. I know there is things that is going on my life my mom is okay with but dad would never be. I cry about that everytime my mom is okay with things. Like Summer Project, living alone in the fall, and other choices I've been making since last Feb. I am stepping out of my shell and going to slowly learn to not to depend on my emotions anymore. I let it get to me way too much. Life comes and goes, as should the feelings and grief from this season in my life. 'Jesus would you please?' Gratitude by Nicole

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