Friday, April 16, 2010

Restless Dreams

Last night I was up really late, like until after 2. My friend's girlfriend is staying in our suite this weekend and I waited for her to come in. I wanted to just to talk with her and get to know her a little more. Well someone was brought up and I ended up telling her a little of my story-about dad. This word will always stick with me-she told me that I seem STRONG. This morning, while I was doing my quiet time it still stuck with me. I was journaling about it. Saying that I'm surprised she said that because sometimes I wish I wasn't so strong. But then I realize that God has kept me so strong. He is the one that is holding me together. That probably sounds crazy and want to know if I ever cry. YES. I do have my moments where I don't hold it together anymore. I had one last weekend. Like everyday. I just have learned to take it one day at a time. If the emotions hit me, then I let them. If not, then I go on with my day and think of him often. Sometimes I think of his schedule, where he would be. At school teaching those freshmen science, or sitting at the gas station at Kroger waiting on customers and pushing buttons of people jumping up and down to get their gas on the computer lol. I've been reflecting lately on how much my dad impacted me. I basically was raised up really sheltered and always protected. To this day, I feel like way still. I know that I am still wanting to be a teacher, just like him, but without the science role. I know that I am sometimes stubborn and get that look he gave me sometimes. I can be quiet and I tend to be more of the listener in a larger group setting. But if you put me one on one with you, I'll pour my heart out to you. I'll always have those memories and no matter where I go or what I do my daddy will always be there with me.

No comments: