Happy Feet

Kindergarteners-rather shy, tears streaming down faces(like 3), children shorter than me(one is almost as tall as me), cute smiles, whispers in my ears, calling me Mrs. G(since when did I get married?) oh my heart melted and I am convinced I love them already!

Im back to running a lot since being back in Ohio and having a pretty good schedule this semester. I am loving Toledo and all the beautiful colors that are outside. Fall is slowly starting to stick its hand out and I am head over heels in love with this!! Fall get-a-way is this weekend and Im PUMPED, even though it is my last one :( but hey, sometimes life must move on :)

Falling in love with Jesus is quite amazing-I am content with my classes, my friends, my placement, my life, my joy, and everything that is going on at this moment. i am fine with not being in a relationship, and just walking hand in hand with jesus<3

Love

Friends, like older and same age and younger than me are either in relationships, engaged or married. I went to a shower on Saturday for a friend whom is getting married in Oct and I just recently had a friend get into a relationship and lately this part of life is soooo hard for me. I have a huge desire to be in a relationship and its not happening. Im really working on trusting god and stuff but its so hard. I just so want what the rest of my friends have.

This semester I'll be in a kindergarten classroom. Im excited but nervous at the same time. Its my last semester before I student teach and Im just hoping I do well this semester.

I feel like Im starting to get sick :( and I cant afford to get sick at this moment. *sigh*

I am loving being able to work out like every day and just be in a normal routine with life. I loved project but man did i feel like i didnt have "me" time. now i have all this time and arent sure what to do with all of it! hah

Being Content

September must be the month of God doing GOOD things in my life. I am actually at a point in my life that I am content with being single. Wow that is such a shocker for me to say at this moment. And I love this new weather that is rolling in. I can break out hoodies and jeans and feel like I am enjoy the weather. I love fall-leaves, pumpkins, football games(toledo really u do suck) and just enjoying the crisp air of freshness. I have realized my hair is SUPER long right now and I love it. I can do whatever I want with it and not really worry about pieces being so funky in a pony! School is quite chill and relaxing at this moment. I don't feel stressed and I am quite okay with the whole living alone thing. Labor day weekend consisted of-curly locks, football games, trip to detroit, Lecrae, 2 hr car rides, little kids, walks, Arbys, 3 movies, a whole season of One Tree Hill, and relaxation. Another week of super senior is almost over and I cant believe that in a few weeks is fall get-away. my last one :/ so sad but at the same time it will be bittersweet. I am ready to see what all the lord does the rest of the semester with my life and here at Toledo. I am still missing project but at the same time, it will always have a place in my heart/life and I will NEVER forget any of it. I won't ever forget what all the Lord did in my life thats for sure!!

Finding the Good in this?

First week of my last year at Toledo is over with and let me say this-I feel like Im back to the first week of project. Not liking this(living alone) and wanting to return to my comfort zone(project and wildwood) and at the same time I have to learn to Trust God again and to rely on Him that this is the plan He has for me. I know I gotta finish my last year of school, but at the same time Im scared to death!! I graduate in MAY, and have to become a real person with a REAL job and heck I dont even have a relationship even close to starting. *sigh* I am just learning to Trust and know that this is what God has for me. His plan is WAY bigger than anything else there is for me out there in this garbage world. Im still really missing my project friends and everything else there is about it and at the same time, I am enjoying being with my friends here-running, ultimate, rock climbing, random parties at my apartment, and just learning to be an adult. I still haven't started much school yet(what is homework?) but I am learning to be content with what I have right now. I may not have a roommate, but I like the quietness of not worrying about interupting quiet times or study habits or heck I dont have to be rude with the lights off at whatever time I decided to go to bed at!! I need to learn to find the GOOD in things and just TRUST.

Lonely Heart

I have been back in Toledo since Friday. I have seen a ton of friends, went to Nickel World, celebrated birthdays, got to a picnic, grocery shopping, church, and spent like a million hours at a table today telling people on campus to fill out a survery for a chance to win $200.
It is quite lonely living on my own. I feel like noone really wants to do stuff with me. I feel like everyone is so caught up in their lives and Im getting left behind. My apartment is so quiet and huge. I have way too much space. I dont know what to do with it all. I still need my futon put together and everything still. I love buying my own food and cooking though. I havent really had anything fancy. I did make tacos the first night I was in my apartment and valerie ate with me. Im praying the community on campus moves together as one. we come and just let this campus be on fire for the lord!! ahh!!! Today was my last first day of classes. bittersweet to think that in may i will actually be a college graduate! ahh!

Transitions

My bed is so much more quieter than my project bed. I dont share a room with 5 girls or a bathroom with 13 girls. I dont have to worry about people eating my food or paying to wash my clothes.
My home church has pews and we sing songs I actually know. We have altar calls and we dont eat breakfast while worshipping God.
I cant wait 4 blocks to the ocean, but I can drive 3 miles to the lake. I dont have to worry about jellyfish or random animals swimming by me while Im playing in the water.
I can run outside without dodging others and or dying from the heat. My schedule is very laid back right now and Im not always checkin the time to see what I need to get to next. I dont have to cook my meals and I dont have to worry where my car keys are at. I do however live in a house where noone is trying to encourage me in my faith or just asking me how I am really doing in life.
Home life is quite different than project life. Community here basically sucks and I am starting to feel like noone really loves me. I am just not sure how to really communicate what I did this summer to a family whom doesnt even believe in my faithful father. Im not sure how to approach that conversation either. I am starting to pack my stuff for school and I've realized I have a ton of stuff for my apartment but im not sure how it is all going to get there on Friday. Pray I continue to seek God, to let him help me through this transition and to lean on Him for his comfort and peace. On Friday Ill have community back and Ill also be living on my own. O boy

I am back

Wednesday we went through a ton of debriefing stuff. How to reflect on the summer and how to transition from here to home. Wednesday night we had our project banquet. It was a lot of fun and the food was amazing. The community team a wonderful job on it. Thursday we had more debriefing, then we had to pack all of our stuff before dinner and then we had a celebration night. Katy, Margo, Terah, Sarah and I prayed for each other. That night myself and a few others started to lose it. I cried my eyes out and basically told others how they impacted my life and stuff this summer. Yesterday we cleaned a TON!!! Then a few of us went to the amusement park. We ate dinner as a project one last time and then just kind of walked the boardwalk one last time. I got up at 4 a.m this morning and said goodbye to everyone. I didnt cry but I have a feeling I will eventually. I dont think reality has hit me yet. I drove Kelsey and Terah to the airport and then drove 13 hrs all together. I went through 4 states in one day.
This summer God has taught me a TON. I have experienced community in a way I never have before. I learned to love others the way He loves me. I have experienced freedom and joy from all the circumstances I have experienced in my life lately. God's gracee was on the floor the I lived on. 14 girls to one bathroom and we somehow didnt fight over it all summer long. I learned to be vulnerable and share my emotions with others. I learned alot from the books of Galatians and 1 Thessionalions. God did A TON in my life this summer. It was incredible and it was the best summer I have ever had in my life!!! I am going to miss Miss Valarie and Bobby from Burger King. I am going to miss all of my friends from project as well. But it was a see you later.
Head back to Toledo on Friday-pray I can handle this transition. I have fear of living alone because I have experienced such amazing community this summer.