Bathing Suits

Okay so I still havent found a job yet. I still feel blah and to make matters worse I went to the movies with my friend Sarah and we saw Something Borrowed. LOVED it!! Anyway, while we were there I ate some candies, and now I just feel completely gross. I havent eaten anything bad for me since Saturday and I was really proud of myself and then I blew it :(

So tonight my friend and her brother are throwing a pool party. I have to wear a bathing suit. Let me just say this---I DONT WANNA wear one. I feel completely HUGE in it! RAWR!!! I mean it fits and stuff, but I just idk Im gonna be so self concisious of myself there. All the other girls going wear binikis and I wear a tankini. Im just going to be comparing myself and such there. I dont even want to eat dinner. I am trying SOO hard to lose some weight, and yet I feel like I'm getting NOWHERE :( I wish someone was here to give me a hug :(